Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen S1E42 - The Proximity Principle
As we continue to navigate the road to success and happiness, it is important to remember that there are people around us who can help us along the way, and who we, in turn, can help as well. If we choose to follow the Proximity Principle, we will be able to find what we're looking for in life by getting close to those who know the way. In today’s episode, McKay explains the power of proximity and that if we follow the example of excellent and successful people, we too can get and keep our lives on course.
Today, McKay explains the Proximity Principle, beginning with an example of how Blaine Gibson used the perspective of the people on the ground to help find pieces of the disappeared Flight 370, a Boeing 777. He also explains why it’s crucial to understand from the perspective of those who know things best and how success leaves clues. He highlights the importance of reading biographies of excellent people as you get in proximity with their life during that time, and demonstrates how proximity works in psychology, breaking addictions, and parenting. He then discusses how to take advantage of proximity power and use it for your good. Finally, McKay stresses the value of reading and how it will get you in proximity to a different view. In essence, if you want to impact something, get close to those who know, seek out the experts, and be proximate to them. Soon, you will think like they think and do more of what they do, and you’ll be able to do the same for others.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
- Blaine Gibson’s pursuit of the lost Boeing 777, Flight 370, and the ‘Gibson Effect’
- The value of proximity and understanding the issue from the perspective of those who know things best
- Getting in proximity with excellent people through reading their biographies
- How proximity drives the work of Alcoholics Anonymous
- Parallels between proximity effect and recording audio
- The use of the proximity principle in psychology
- Proximity in parenting and raising kids—McKay’s personal experience
- How to take advantage of proximity power and turn it to our good
- How reading equals proximity to the author
- McKay’s research study to determine what enabled people to change
- The Matthew Effect
- The fruits of being coachable
Quotes:
“There is power in getting on the ground level. Proximity is power. When we understand the issue from the perspective of those who know things best, when we model their way of doing things, we eliminate the mystery of how to succeed.”
“Tony Robbins says, ‘Long ago, I realized that success leaves clues and that people who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results. I believed that if I precisely duplicated the actions of others, I could reproduce the same quality of results that they had.’ This is an extremely powerful principle.”
“Reading biographies is different than other books. You get to see things from another’s point of view. And if you’re reading the right biography, you get close, proximate, and see things from the point of view of a person who has lived in excellent ways. You get to put their view on your window.”
“When we come closer or proximate to people we admire or who have done what we are trying to do, several things happen to us: sometimes it feels like a reproach because we are humbled when we see how far we must progress. But most often, we feel inspired that we can do better, perhaps even that our time is forthcoming.”
“Alcoholics Anonymous was not successful due to its training content or processes. These were only mild factors in the person’s ability to find lasting change. However, the chief reason the program worked was its ability to provide free, long-term, easy proximity and exposure to common therapeutic elements such as companionship, modeling of behavior, faith in a higher power, and so forth.”
“If you’re leading a team and wanting to make better progress, get proximate with those who are doing the right activities.”
“If you’re in a family and want some kids to do better, get them proximate to others who are on the right track.”
“In psychology, the proximity effect has been studied numerous times. Those people who are in close proximity to us (geographically, emotionally, or in other ways) tend to direct our perspective, behavior, and desired goals.”
“If you really want to impact something, follow Gibson’s example and get close to those who know how, seek out the experts and be proximate to them. Soon, you will think like they think and do more of what they do.”
“When my son was younger, he asked me, ‘Dad, was I adopted? I said, ‘Not yet, but we’ve placed an ad.’”
“But in all truth, living life is like running a relay race. When we’re done, we’re going to hand the baton to our children. When they’re done, they’ll hand it to their children. Every lap we run in proximity to our kids is passed on to those who come after us.”
“Sometimes, you can’t connect with someone in person. What then? Read. Immerse yourself in what you want to master, read, and you will begin to adopt the author’s voice.”
“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. As the proverb says, ‘A child who reads will be an adult who thinks.’”
“Reading is dreaming with your eyes open.”
“A growing body of scientific literature shows that reading is basically an empathy workout. Helping us take the perspective of characters very different from ourselves boosts our emotional intelligence. This effect can literally be seen in your brain waves when you read.”
“No one ever rises to low expectations. Set your expectations high. There are people around you who can help you. Align yourself with people you can learn from, people who want more out of life, people who are stretching and searching and seeking some higher ground in life.”
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