Non-complimentary behavior can transform interactions and have a positive impact on both individual and societal levels.
Showing love, care, and support instead of hostility can be an effective approach to combat radicalization and reintegrate individuals into their community.
Deep dives
The Power of Non-Complimentary Behavior
Chris Hopwood, a professor at Michigan State University, discusses non-complimentary behavior and how it can drastically change the dynamics of interactions. Non-complimentary behavior involves responding positively and warmly, even in the face of hostility. Examples like Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. are given as they managed to maintain warmth and integrity in the face of cruelty. The episode explores how non-complimentary behavior can have an impact on both individual and societal levels.
Combating Terrorism with Love
A group of cops in Denmark took a unique approach to combat terrorism by showing love and care to radicalized individuals. When young people were drawn to radical ideologies and leaving for Syria, instead of hostility, the cops invited them for coffee and provided support, job opportunities, and mentors. The program aimed to prevent radicalization and offer these individuals a chance to belong and reintegrate into their community. Their approach challenged the traditional methods of hostility and punishment used by other countries facing similar issues.
Settle for Love: Flipping the Dating Script
David Wheeler, frustrated with the superficiality of online dating, created a dating site called Settle for Love. This unconventional platform encouraged users to embrace imperfections by displaying both the good and bad sides of themselves. Instead of highlighting only the most flattering aspects, users were prompted to upload unflattering pictures and candidly discuss their weaknesses. While Settle for Love faced initial success and media attention, sustaining its user base proved challenging due to the popularity and norms associated with traditional dating sites.
In this episode we look at situation where someone flips the script – does the opposite of what their natural instinct is, and in this way transforms a situation. The clinical term is "complementarity." Usually when someone is hostile to us, we are hostile right back. But then in rare cases someone manages to be warm, and what happens as a result can be amazing. The episode starts with a story about a dinner party in DC, when an attempted robbery was foiled by... a glass of wine and some cheese. Then we travel across the pond, to Denmark, where police officers are attempting to combat the growing problem of Islamic radicalization with... love. And finally, we talk to a man who attempted to flip the script on one of our most basic animal functions: finding a mate.