Dr. Laurie Mintz on the Power of Female Pleasure, Sexual Equality and Closing the Orgasm Gap

Today’s episode is a truth-telling, taboo-breaking, and pleasure-restoring conversation that could quite literally change lives.

I am joined by Dr. Laurie Mintz, psychologist, author, speaker, and Emeritus Professor at the University of Florida, whose life’s work has been a powerful act of cultural unlearning and sexual awakening.

Dr. Mintz is the author of the groundbreaking books Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters and How to Get It and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex. Both are rooted in science, filled with heart, and have been proven through published research to increase sexual satisfaction, body confidence, and orgasm frequency in women, and to radically improve communication and connection between partners.

For too long, the narratives around women’s bodies and sexuality have been distorted by shame, silence, and a patriarchal script that left so many disconnected from their birthright: pleasure, autonomy, and full aliveness.

In a world where we have been taught that sex is penetration, that female pleasure is elusive, and that clitoral stimulation is optional, Dr. Mintz is leading a revolution: a revolution for orgasm equality, for linguistic liberation, and for true intimacy based on knowledge, consent, and joy.

Her viral TEDx talk, watched by over two million people, challenges us to close the pleasure gap and to stop treating women’s orgasms as afterthoughts, or worse, illusions.

And her message is as much about cultural healing as it is about personal empowerment.

In this episode, we explore why sex education fails most women, how language shapes our sexual experiences, why so many women fake orgasm, and how we can all return to a more authentic, attuned, and pleasure-centered approach to sexuality.

This is much more than a conversation about sex. It is a conversation about power, equality, and embodiment. It is about reclaiming what was ours all along.

And to remember that when a woman’s pleasure is honored, we do not just heal individuals, we begin to heal the world.

Episode highlights:

03:00 – Dr. Mintz shares her path from writing about low sexual desire in women to uncovering the widespread ignorance around the clitoris and female orgasm.

05:45 – The “orgasm gap” is a cultural problem, not a biological one—and the myth that “sex equals penetration” is rooted in patriarchal definitions of sex.

08:00 – Mainstream media portrays distorted, unrealistic depictions of female pleasure, leading women to believe they are broken when they aren’t.

10:00 – Why so many women fake orgasms and how performance-based sex robs both partners of real connection and joy.

13:45 – New research shows that bisexual women orgasm dramatically more with female partners than male ones—revealing a deeper systemic issue.

16:15 – How language, sex ed, and media erase clitoral stimulation, creating a false norm that harms everyone.

22:00 – When women feel fully safe, seen, and met, they can access not just physical but also spiritual and energetic orgasms.

24:30 – The false end-point of male orgasm in sex and why we must redefine climax as a shared, intentional experience.

27:00 – The real cost of ignoring women’s pleasure: emotional distance, relational breakdown, and lost intimacy.

29:00 – Lesbian couples experience more orgasms because of communication, mutual respect, and attention to clitoral stimulation—practices that can be applied to all relationships.

31:45 – Research-backed benefits of Becoming Cliterate: greater sexual satisfaction, more frequent orgasms, improved communication—and less sexual pain.

34:00 – Dr. Mintz’s six-step rhyme to close the orgasm gap: Educate, Meditate, Communicate, Lubricate, Vibrate, Alternate.

36:30 – Addressing the myth of vibrator “desensitization” with science and compassion.

39:00 – Why labiaplasty, unless medically necessary, is a tragic form of aesthetic mutilation driven by shame and cultural pressure.

45:00 – Reclaiming pleasure as a spiritual act: when women embrace their orgasms, they unlock confidence, freedom, and personal power in every area of life.

47:00 – Practical steps to move from shame to self-awareness, and from silence to sexual sovereignty.

Resources:

Dr. Laurie Mintz's website – www.drlauriemintz.com

Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—and How to Get It by Dr. Laurie Mintz – https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062465094

A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex by Dr. Laurie Mintz – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1608826954

Dr. Mintz on Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/drlauriemintz

TEDx Talk: “The Orgasm Gap” – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmOhyxzZ1gc

Vulva photo project (mentioned): The Vulva Gallery – https://www.thevulvagallery.com

World Association for Sexual Health – https://worldsexualhealth.net

Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides – https://www.amazon.com/dp/1885535754