Amanda Ripley, author of High Conflict, and Utah Governor Spencer Cox discuss the importance of healthy arguments. They explore engaging in conflict, uniting for democracy, changing minds, and the importance of respect in arguments.
Productive disagreement can lead to growth, transformation, and problem-solving.
Feeling heard and fostering understanding of others' perspectives is crucial in conflicts.
Deep dives
The Importance of Learning to Disagree Better
In this podcast episode, the importance of learning how to disagree better is discussed. The episode highlights the need for productive disagreement in an era when political opponents often resort to vitriol. The focus is not on being quiet or avoiding conflict, but on effectively engaging with people we disagree with to achieve better outcomes. The concept of 'good conflict' is introduced, emphasizing that certain kinds of conflict can lead to growth, transformation, and problem-solving. The episode explores personal examples of conflicts, revealing the inclination to be right and the negative consequences it can have. The idea of understanding the underlying stories and reasons behind conflicts is presented as a way to navigate disagreements more effectively.
The Power of Listening and Being Heard
Another key theme of the episode is the importance of listening and feeling heard in conflicts. The discussion involves the concept of 'looping,' in which individuals listen attentively, repeat what they've heard in their own words, and check if they understood correctly. The episode highlights that when people feel heard, they are more likely to be open to understanding others and admitting internal uncertainty. It also reveals that the lack of feeling heard often leads to extreme statements and escalates conflicts. The significance of fostering a genuine understanding of others' perspectives, even if one disagrees, is underscored throughout the conversation.
The Disagree Better Initiative and Moving Towards Healthier Conflict
The episode concludes by highlighting the efforts of individuals and initiatives aiming to promote productive conflicts and civil discourse. The podcast features Spencer Cox, the governor of Utah, who champions the Disagree Better Initiative. The initiative focuses on healthy conflict and problem-solving rather than changing minds or winning arguments. Cox emphasizes that a lack of effective disagreement threatens democratic institutions and calls for a different vision of political discourse. The episode also delves into the challenges of navigating conflicts in the realm of politics, particularly when facing divergent views within one's own party. The importance of avoiding dehumanizing language and striving for understanding, even when there are significant disagreements, is emphasized as a way to move forward and address the deepening divide in society.
Thanksgiving is often a time of disagreements big and small. In this episode we talk to Amanda Ripley (author of High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out) and Utah Governor Spencer Cox. They explain that conflict shouldn’t be avoided—and that there’s a way to fight with partners and political opponents that’s actually good for us.
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