Grab Life by the Handlebars—Even After Failing (Tonya Herb)

May 14, 2025

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Life and leadership coach Tonya Herb explores how failure can be transformed from a source of shame into a stepping stone for growth. Drawing from her personal journey and client work, she reveals practical strategies to reframe setbacks, build resilience, and turn feedback into forward momentum.

Tonya Herb is the founder of Outspoken with Tonya Kay.

In this episode, Melinda and Tonya talk about:

Redefining failure as a stepping stone rather than a setback
The impact of perfectionism on coaches and their businesses
Recognizing signals and symptoms of perfectionism and people-pleasing
Distinguishing between fear-based perfectionism and high expectations
The importance of mindset shifts and emotional intelligence when dealing with failure
Viewing failure as feedback and not taking it personally
Practical strategies for handling failure, including the "STEER" formula
Setting healthy boundaries and empowering others
Using core values as an anchor during challenges and failures
Understanding both failure and success as feedback and integral parts of growth

“Failure is simply feedback. We need to get good at receiving feedback or recognizing what it is for us.” — Tonya Herb

Guest Bio:

Tonya Herb is the founder of Outspoken with Tonya Kay, where she empowers individuals and organizations to ignite their potential, overcome doubt, and take action to create a life on their own terms. As someone who went from climbing the corporate ladder to embracing a life of self-discovery and empowerment, Tonya understands the toll that high expectations can take on a person. Her journey from stress and perfectionism to clarity and peace fuels her mission to guide others through similar transformations. Combining real talk, practical strategies, and a touch of fun, Tonya makes personal growth not just attainable, but genuinely enjoyable.

Resources or websites mentioned in this episode:

Mirasee
Coaches Console
Melinda’s books: The Confident Coach and The Professional Coach
Tonya’s website: TonyaKay.co

Credits:

Host: Melinda Cohan
Producer and Editor: Michi Lantz
Executive Producer: Danny Iny
Music Soundscape: Chad Michael Snavely
Making our hosts sound great: Home Brew Audio

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Music credits:

Track Title: Clouds
Artist Name: Acreage
Writer Name: Marshall Usinger
Publisher Name: BOSS SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTIONS

Track Title: Coastline Dream
Artist Name: Wild Sky
Writer Name: Adam Simons
Publisher Name: BOSS SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTIONS

Track Title: Coo Coos
Artist Name: Dresden, The Flamingo
Writer Name: Matthew Wigton
Publisher Name: A SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTION

Track Title: Stars & Trees
Artist Name: Outside The Sky
Writer Name: Dustin Ransom
Publisher Name: A SOUNDSTRIPE PRODUCTION

Special effects credits:
24990513_birds-chirping_by_promission used with permission of the author and under license by AudioJungle/Envato Market.

Episode transcript: Grab Life by the Handlebars—Even After Failing (Tonya Herb).