DEEP DIVE: Getting Your Kids To Talk To You

We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes about "getting our kids to...," from listening to what we say the first time, to talking to us about what matters most to them. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist.

Getting your kid to talk to you is never easy (unless you’re standing with car keys in hand, front door ajar, 15 minutes late for an appointment). Here are some parenting strategies that work to get kids talking at every age.

Based upon empirical evidence, “How was school today?” is the most annoying question a mom could ever ask. So why bother trying?

 Because Jennifer Kolari, author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise a Great Kid, says getting our kids to open up is part of our job description:

It’s our job as parents to help our kids sort through and process the things that happen to them during the day. “They don’t have the higher-order thinking to do it on their own yet.

In this episode we lay out what gets our kids to talk– at every age and stage.

Margaret says you have to “talk the talk that arrives.”

But Amy comes at it armed with research; if her ninth-grader wants to talk NBA draft, she’s ready to lean in.

Both of us plan to work on what Marie Roker Jones calls “listening with the intent to understand.”

Here’s links to some research and hilarious takes on this topic that we mention in this episode:

• Alice Bradley for Lifehacker Offspring: Stop Asking Your Kid About Their Day
• Marie Roker-Jones for Good Men Project: 10 Ways to Get Your Son to Open Up and Talk to You
• Clare Gagne for Today’s Parent: Age-By-Age Guide To Getting Your Kid To Talk
• Liz Evans for Huffington Post: 25 Ways to Ask Your Kids ‘So How Was School Today?’ Without Asking Them ‘So How Was School Today?’
• The Ungame 
• …and some perfect viewing for you and your teenager: Maddie Corman’s wonderful short film How Was Your Day?

How do you get your kids to open up? Let us know!

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