Join us as we talk about what to do when kids push back. When our kids push back, it can look disrespectful, mean or lazy... and their communication can be sub-par. We're here to help you excavate what's underneath that non-preferred behavior and really support you and your kids in getting what you all need. We'll also talk about if it's ever ok to push our kids.
Fall 2022 Season Sponsors
We are so grateful to our Fall 2022 Season Sponsors. Use the links below for their special offerings:
Blossom & Root and use code HSUnrefined15 for 15% off your purchase
Outschool and use code Unrefined for $20 off your first class
Night Zookeeper for a 7-day, risk-free trial, as well as 50% off an annual subscription
LTWs
Maren: Blue Diamond Sweet Thai Chili Almonds
Angela: The Ordinary Peeling Solution
Connect with us!
Sign up for our newsletter and get our Top 100 Inclusive Book List
We are listener supported! Support us on Patreon
Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and see video episodes now on Youtube
Angela on Instagram: @unrefinedangela | Maren on Instagram: @unrefinedmaren and @alwayslearningwithmaren
Email us any questions or feedback at homeschoolunrefined@gmail.com
Complete Episode Transcript
[00:00:09] Hi, we're Maren and Angela of Homeschool, Unrefined. Over the past 25 years, we've been friends, teachers, homeschool parents, and podcasters together. With our master's degrees and 20 years combined homeschooling experience, we're here to rethink homeschooling, learning, and education with an inclusive and authentic lens.
[00:00:30] At Homeschool, Unrefined, we prioritize things like giving yourself credit, building strong connections, respectful parenting, interest led playing, and learning. Learning differences, mental health, self-care, listening to and elevating LGBTQ plus and BIPOC voices. We are here to encourage and support you.
[00:00:52] Whether you're a new homeschooler, a veteran, you love curriculum, you're an unschooler. Whether all your kids are at home or all [00:01:00] your kids are in school or somewhere in between, wherever you are on your journey, we are the voice in your head telling you, You're doing great and so are your kids. This episode is 1 96 when kids push back.
[00:01:13] We'll talk about what to do when kids push back and whether it's ever okay to push your kids, and then we'll end like we always do with our lt. Ws loving this. Something new that we wanted to tell you about this season is we are doing transcripts for every single episode.
[00:01:33] Mm-hmm. . Those you can find on our website or in the podcast app that you're using in the show notes. We're also doing video episodes, so if you'd rather watch us on video, you can do that too. Yeah. Yeah, and links to those are in the show notes and it's just on our YouTube page. We are starting something new this season where we are bringing you three new sponsors for the entire fall season.
[00:01:58] We were very intentional about [00:02:00] who we chose for sponsors, and we really appreciate you taking the time to learn about them because we think they're just really good companies and they're giving us discount codes, so you'll wanna listen for those. We are so happy to work hard on this podcast and we appreciate the financial support in making it happen.
[00:02:17] We know from experience that finding a homeschool history curriculum tells that tells stories from multiple perspectives is an almost impossible task. That's why we're excited about the work Blossom and Root is doing. Blossom and Root is a nature focused secular homeschool curriculum focusing on creativity.
[00:02:40] Science, nature, literature, and the arts. Blossom and root has been gently encouraging in supporting homeschooling families around the globe since 2016. Blossom and Root currently offers curricula for pre-K through fifth grade with new levels being added in the future. Additionally, a [00:03:00] three volume inclusive US history curriculum told from a variety of viewpoints is currently in development.
[00:03:08] As of August, 2022, volume one is available for purchase and volume two is a available on presale all profits from this history curriculum. A River of Voices will be used to support storytellers and artists from historically excluded communities. You can find samples, scope, and sequences and information about each of their levels.
[00:03:33] Blossom and root.com. You can also find them on Instagram at Blossom and Route. Blossom and Root has created a special discount for our listeners. Use the code Hs. Unrefined 15 at checkout for 15% off your purchase. Biology, Coloring Club, Math Frog, Life Cycle Grammar, Star Wars, the Old Republic. These are just a sampling of classes our kids have taken throughout school.[00:04:00]
[00:04:00] We know that kids who love to learn don't just prepare for the future. They create it. That's why Out School has reimagined online learning to empower kids and teens to expand their creativity, wonder and knowledge. Empathetic, passionate teachers encourage learners ages three to 18 to explore their interests, connect with diverse peers from around the world, and take an active role in leading their learning out.
[00:04:24] School has created a world filled with endless possibilities for every schooling journey. Explore over 140,000 fun and flexible live online classes to find the right fit for your family and join us as we set learning. Sign up today at Out schooler.me/homeschool unrefined, and get up to $20 off your first class when you enroll with the code.
[00:04:49] Unrefined teaching creative writing and reading in a way that is fun and accessible is a necessity. That's where Night Zookeeper comes in. Is your child a reluctant [00:05:00] writer? Do they struggle with reading? If your answer to either of these questions is yes, the Night Zookeeper may be just what you're looking for.
[00:05:08] Night Zookeeper is an online learning program for children aged six to 12 years. That uses a gamified and creative approach to help to keep kids engaged and focused on developing awesome reading and writing skills, all while having fun at the same time. Some of the features we love include the educational games, the personalized feedback on writing from real tutors.
[00:05:34] And the super safe community pages where children can work with each other and learn together. If Night Zookeeper sounds like the perfect learning program for your child, you can try it for free by clicking on the link in the show notes. When you register, you'll get a seven day risk free trial, as well as a huge 50% off an annual subscription.
[00:05:54] That's a great deal if you ask me.
[00:05:56] All right, Marin. We are here [00:06:00] today for our main topic, which is about kids pushing back. Mm-hmm. . And this is, we chose this topic because we hear about it all the time. We hear, we hear about it all the time, and we hear it happening all the time. . Yeah. We experience it, we hear it happening. Yep. Yeah, , we experience it and hear that others are experiencing it often.
[00:06:21] It may not be worded exactly like my child is pushing back, but it might be like, My kid doesn't wanna do this thing, or this subject is stressful, or something like that. Mm-hmm. . And so we wanted to talk about it, or it could be my kid. Being disrespectful or my kid is being really whiny, , you know, that's what it can, can sound like often.
[00:06:44] Right, right. Or lazy. Or Right, right, right. Something, something like that. And we, we know that this is a common occurrence in for homeschool families. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. at different, lots of different ages and stages. [00:07:00] And we know that it's really tough, . Right. And I think it's probably, I mean, I think we know it's even more common probably in homeschool than if our kids were going to school.
[00:07:12] They're with the person they trust and feel the most comfortable with. Our kids are gonna be their true selves in front of the, you know, their most, their most, the safest environment they have, which is for sure your home . For sure. For sure. And so really they're being vulnerable too when they're sharing, when they're, when they're pushing back, right?
[00:07:33] I mean, you guys, we all know that kids Break down when they come home or when they're home because they feel it's a safe place to do that. And so it makes sense that this would also happen during homeschool time. And I do think it's one of the challenges that homeschool parents face because I think If you've heard about kids in school or if you've experienced your child in school, you know that sometimes they, there isn't that breakdown, there isn't that pushback.
[00:07:59] Right.[00:08:00] With teachers or even you may have experienced it with like them doing a sports class or a co-op class or something. Yeah. But then when they're at home with you, they really do push back. And so I think that can be a special homeschool challenge. Oh yes. Yes, for sure. And it, it is true though, and I do think this happens too when my kids do go to do one of those classes or whatever and come back, they can sometimes talk about how much, you know, they can tell me how hard that thing was too.
[00:08:30] Yeah, yeah. You know, But it's not until they come home sometimes, For sure. For sure. Yep. Yep. And so I think what can be really hard about this is you have had a vision of what your homeschool might look like or what you might be doing for a particular subject. Or you might have a vision of us all being like, happy together, or this be a really cozy setting.
[00:08:52] And so you have this vision, you've spent time thinking about it, you've spent. Time planning, you spent [00:09:00] energy planning, you've probably spent money. Mm-hmm. on different curriculum or like different setup things and you know, your kid like may have been on board with whatever you're do you were doing at one time too.
[00:09:13] Like they may have said like, Exactly, yeah, this is what I wanna do. Mm-hmm. and it may have worked for a while and then all of a sudden it doesn't. So I think that's what makes it especially hard is that you can feel like. Yes, it can felt very confusing. Cause we, you're like, I'm so in, we're so in tune with each other.
[00:09:30] We did the whole thing that we, you know, like in our in our back to school summer, we talk a lot about having this meeting at the beginning of the year. You know? Yeah. Talk about your hopes and dreams and be really collaborative with each other. You may have done all of that . Yeah. Right. And you're like, I am a really tuning into my kid and I'm doing this thing.
[00:09:47] Mm-hmm. , then they're still just like, No, I don't wanna do that. . Yeah. Oh, that's so hard. It's heartbreaking. Right, right. Or then it may also be just a thing that that is a real big priority to [00:10:00] you. It's a really big priority to you. It's so important. This is something that we need to do and, and you, and maybe you're thinking, but I've like I've, you know, like.
[00:10:11] Changed so many of my plans and or, you know, like I've, we've worked so much on other things, like, I've allowed you to do these things. I've let you do this. I've let you do this. Just do this one thing for me. Please. Just do this one thing for me. Yeah. I mean, and so it feels like like, oh, they're just, you know, it could be just, they're.
[00:10:29] It may seem like they are spoiled or, you know, like you're like, I've given you everything . Yeah. Everything you want, You, you get to do so much. You have so much freedom. And then I just want you to do this one thing. Mm-hmm. , come on. You know? Mm-hmm. . So I think that there is a pain point there for sure. Yeah.
[00:10:44] Especially when you've put so much thought and planning into it and money. Right.
[00:10:50] And so the way that our kids are pushing back is probably not like, Hey, mom, ideal. Mm-hmm. , can we have a meeting? Yeah. I'm not[00:11:00] , I'm enjoy Do math right now or something. Right? It's not gonna look like that. It's gonna look like something hard. It's gonna look, They might look like they're cry. They might be crying.
[00:11:10] Mm-hmm. , they might be refusing, they might be manipulating you. They might be you know, they might look like manipulation off. They could look like, Yes. Look like manipulation. They could be being disrespectful. Mm-hmm. . There are lots of things it can look like, and that's, that's okay. That's them communicating.
[00:11:30] That is them communicating to you. Right, Right, right. And it's our, not our job in that moment to fix the way they're communicating to us what's wrong. I think that that is a big mistake that we all, and that might be even hard to wrap your head around right now at this moment when I'm saying it, because I think what we as parents, Wanna do is correct.
[00:11:52] Like we can't perpetuate this bad behavior. Yeah. By listening to them when they're acting this way. And I [00:12:00] think that's a mistake. Parents. I think that's a mistake. Mm-hmm. , I think what we do need to say is I hear you. I see that this is not working. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna, we're gonna work on that first.
[00:12:13] I'm gonna be take responsible, you know, responsibility for what's not going well be of, because of like what I've planned and what's, what's going on here. Mm-hmm. , I'm gonna work on that. I'm gonna take responsibility for that. And, you know, like, let's, let's work together here and. Then like at a very, in a distant time, when they're, when the emotions are back to regulated mm-hmm.
[00:12:35] and you've moved, you know, you've moved on emotionally from this tough situation, then you can say that's when you can work on communication skills, the way they communicated it, the way they communicated it, and it doesn't even, you don't even necessarily have to go back to rehash that. Scenario, right?
[00:12:52] Cause that could just bring it all back up. It could be like, I wanna talk everybody about like, if you're ever having a problem with something, this is what you could do. You know, just moving [00:13:00] forward, here's what we can do. Yeah, yeah. Right. Just talk about it in general. In general or, Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
[00:13:07] Because I think a lot of times when kids are trying to say something and it's, it comes out as disrespectful. Parents, including myself, I've done this focus on the disrespectful nature of what they're saying, Right? They do. Yes. Which is not the point, which is, which is really they're just trying to get heard trying to get heard.
[00:13:26] Yep. So, And it can be tempting to do that because you're like, Wait, you shouldn't talk to me like that. Like, I don't talk to you like that. And I, we, we don't talk to each other like that, right? It can be tempting to focus on that first, but I think we really need to take a step back and be like, You know what, we'll deal with that later.
[00:13:42] Right now they're trying to communicate with me that something's not working. Right? Yep. So you can say something like, Hey I hear that I see you, that you're really upset and something's not working. Mm-hmm. , can we talk about that? Mm-hmm. , or do we need to take a break right now? Cause you might need to take a break because maybe emotions are high or whatever.
[00:13:59] Take a break. Let's [00:14:00] come back later and talk about it. Cuz I see that you're trying to communicate with me that something's not working. Yes. And I think what happens in that situation is you are not perpetuating the bad behavior. What you're saying is you actually don't. To act like that, I will listen to you.
[00:14:13] Mm mm-hmm. . And so next time they might be like, they might actually next time or maybe in five times, I don't know. Or maybe when they're more mature, eventually they're gonna be like, actually, I don't need to put up such a fuss. My mom just listens to me. My parent just listens to me. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . So actually you are untangling that for sure.
[00:14:36] That's so true, Maren, because I think a lot of people can think like, Well, I, we need to address the disrespectful, but like, I, like I just said, you know, like, we need to address this. Mm-hmm. , and it's Yeah, because it hurts, but you're doing, you're doing it in a different way. Right, Right, right. In a different.
[00:14:51] You're showing them, I love you, I care about you. I see that you are hurting and let's talk about it. Yep. I love and care about you and I value you [00:15:00] no matter how you're acting, when you're really stressed out. Mm-hmm. . Yes. You know, as a child. Yeah. I mean, as adults, when we're really stressed out, we don't always act.
[00:15:10] Ideally, I don't want We're adults. Yep. For adults. Yep. So our kids have not developed their brain yet. They haven't For sure. They're not even really capable. Sure. Yet. Yet. Yet. Right. They will be So when kids are pushing back, they are telling you something's not working. Mm-hmm. , It can be a variety of different things that aren't working and they might not even be able to name it.
[00:15:35] They might say like, I hate. Writing or whatever, like, I hate writing, but what they might really be saying is like, it might not be the subject, it might be the curriculum you're using. Yes. It might be the time of day that you're doing it. Right. They might be hungry, they might be tired. prob, They probably are.
[00:15:57] Yeah. Hungry. Maybe they're [00:16:00] curriculum is too hard. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . Right. Maybe it's too easy. Maybe it's too boring. You know what? It might be too boring because a lot of curriculum is boring, so you know, it, Chances are it might be too boring. Yeah. It might be that they didn't have a say in picking it out.
[00:16:17] Yeah, and I would also just add, like I, I think there are ki there are just with learning differences, there might just be an adjustment that needs to happen. Like my, I have a kid who whenever it's like I reading or writing, Boring, quote unquote. Yeah. Boring. They use the word boring. They use the word boring, but honestly they are.
[00:16:38] They listen to audio books like nonstop. Yeah. And tell stories and like, yeah. They're so creative about other things. It's just like, it's like the eye reading is just such a, a strain. It's hard. Slog. It's a slog. And then same with like physical hand, like writing things down is real. It's like [00:17:00] there's also some like fine motor skills that are really developing there too, so, Okay.
[00:17:04] Mm-hmm. , it's boring. Let's, let's like, Really drilled down into what that what do you mean it's boring? Right. Cause like for that kid it might be like the actual work of it is, is boring. Yeah, it probably is. Yes. But not like the subject of writing or reading. , right? Yeah. Or if it's reading, maybe it's not necessarily just the subject of Ring.
[00:17:26] I mean, I think a lot, I mean, any kid could probably enjoy reading if they had the right maybe topic of book. Mm-hmm. You know, and a very high interest thing. Right. There's a lot of things we can do within the subject too. Right? Yeah, that's true. Make it That's true. Make it more, Yeah. Yeah. Relevant. So when, what to do when your kids push back.
[00:17:48] Mm-hmm. . I think the thing you don't wanna do is power through . Right. I think, I think that although I have tried that, I, I have tried that. We've all tried that. No judgment. No judgment. [00:18:00] Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . But powering through never seems to work for, for me. Right. But I think when kids push back, we wanna stop what we're doing and connect first.
[00:18:10] Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . So maybe that's listening to them. Maybe that is. Telling them that you hear them and see them and care about them and that you're gonna figure this out together. Right. Maybe that's saying, Hey, you know what, like I can tell that this is really stressing us both out right now. Do you wanna just go like, watch something on TV right now together?
[00:18:30] Yes. And pedal, you know, just completely changing things up. Totally. Yeah, and you can also just not. You can also just decide this is not for us. Right, Right now for sure. You know's like you're not even gonna try tomorrow, is what you're saying. Not gonna try tomorrow. This is not, Yeah. You can take a break for however long you need to.
[00:18:49] Right, Right, right. For it. Exactly. Yep. You might try again tomorrow. You might try next week. You might try in a couple months. Right, Right. And, and you can also do it differently like we talked [00:19:00] about. There are some things that you can do differently. You can try a different angle, but it often does, there often does, has to have to be you know, a break in the emotion.
[00:19:08] There has to be a a, a period where The memory of this tough thing may, may, like, make it tough to even try it in a different way. Mm-hmm. , So you wanna give it time for sure. Yes. Depending on what your child needs or you need for sure. It's different for everyone, right? Yeah. Yeah. And so When you decide to try it again after your break mm-hmm.
[00:19:30] You might try a new curriculum. Yes. You might try something completely different like an app. Yep. You, you might, another thing you could do is outsource it. To like, maybe they take a class online, maybe they do it at a co-op or something. Maybe you change the time of date. Maybe you do it before bed.
[00:19:48] Okay. I love that one because that's outside of the box thinking that I think a lot of kids need, Okay. They need us to be thinking outside of the box. We think we have to do school between eight and three or something, you know, [00:20:00] whatever's in our mind. Yeah. Yeah. Learning happens all the time. Yeah, it really does for.
[00:20:04] That's so true. And it could be different for everybody. It could be before bed, it could be that your partner takes, takes it on. Yes. Maybe you're just like, You know what? I can't do this subject with this child because it's too hard for both of us right now. Can you take it on? Yep. Maybe you just don't do it at all.
[00:20:19] Right? I dunno. There's a lot of, you have a lot of choices and. I was just gonna also say, I think it's really important for us, this is where I think, and we talk about this so much on the podcast, is to notice all the learning that's already happening around you. Mm-hmm. , there's so much learning that's happening around you.
[00:20:34] If you, if you, you know, took notes on all the ways your kids are learning throughout the day, you may not feel like you really have to do all the things that you've planned cuz they are learning so much. Maybe even the. Subject and skill that you're trying to directly teach over here? Maybe they've, they're doing it naturally on their own.
[00:20:53] Yeah. Throughout the day, or maybe not exactly, but like there's still. [00:21:00] Our, our job is, you know, to have our kids practice learning. We want them to get into the habit of learning. It doesn't always even matter the exact thing that they're learning. They're in the habit of learning. When they're the habit of learning, they're going to continue to learn for the rest of their lives.
[00:21:18] And so to, to be like really a stickler about the exact thing they're gonna learn today is can kill. That habit of learning. Right? And so then, then, okay, they learn that one thing today, but they're not gonna learn as much for the rest of their lives. So what we really want is the continued learning.
[00:21:37] Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. . So given all that, is it ever okay to push your kids? Mm-hmm. ? I think. This is an interesting question because mm-hmm. , I think a lot of times I think people have different opinions on it, so I would love to hear, Oh, for sure. Mar, what do you think about, Is it ever okay to push your kids?
[00:21:57] I do think it's good. I, I [00:22:00] like to use, we've said this on the podcast before, to stretch without breaking. You wanna stretch without breaking. And especially this works really well when it's something your kids. Are willing and excited about working on it's like the book Grit talks about this a lot.
[00:22:17] I think it's Angela Duckworth is the author. Yeah. You know, she talks a lot about how grit is not working hard on something you hate doing. It's, you know, working hard on the things that you can get in the flow with and for sure excited about. And so they, those are the ideal places. Push your kids, honestly.
[00:22:34] You know, and I don't mean like push out of their, you know too, Right. Stretch. Stretch. Yes, for sure. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I do think that's ideal. Mm-hmm. When kids are really into something, but I think a lot of times they're not, you know, like some, sometimes they're just not like, you know, and this, there might be something that you just think is really important.
[00:22:54] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think sometimes it is okay. I, I think especially as kids get older mm-hmm. , so like, maybe [00:23:00] I'm talking like middle school age. Yes. I think it's okay to sometimes push them. I think sometimes they need to try it and see that they can overcome this or what Definitely. Yeah. Or they can flex these certain muscles.
[00:23:11] They might need to know what that feels like. I do wanna, I do think in the middle school, and I actually just had a conversation with middle school teachers about this , about how middle schoolers are often, often asking, What's in it for me? What's in it for me? And I think that we all agreed that's a valid question because.
[00:23:30] Doing work that they don't care about is not, there's nothing in it for them for sure. So I think that it's very important to listen to your middle schooler especially so that they understand there is like there's something, they do get something out of it. Yeah. And maybe it's something completely unrelated to the actual learning.
[00:23:45] You get to do something that I don't usually let you do or whatever it is, you know you know, we're gonna go get a treat after this or something. Yeah. I think that that is valid. I don't think there's anything wrong with. Especially for a kid with a learning difference, especially adhd, there [00:24:00] is no dopamine hit you get from accomplishing something you didn't wanna do in the first place.
[00:24:05] So there has to be some sort of, you have to provide that yourselves. Yeah. If you want them to continue to do these, push themselves in ways they never really wanted to in the first place. Yeah, I totally agree with that. There are lots of things I don't wanna do and Exactly right. Sometimes I give myself rewards.
[00:24:24] Yeah. For doing them right. , I say like, when I'm done with this, I can do this. And so I do think having those conversations with your kids is important. Like, Yes. This does not have to be a day filled with a bunch of things you don't like to do. Right? Right. Yes. You're, you're not into this, but it's important.
[00:24:39] Okay. What could we do after mm-hmm. to make it worth it for you. Mm-hmm. . And you do want, you want them, you know, when, when we do give those, you know, outside rewards or whatever, I, for me, the po the, the goal is, and you reference this, Angela, is my, the goal is for them to feel. [00:25:00] The accomplishment, but they aren't willing to try it to feel the accomplishment until they get a little, you know, outside motivation or whatever.
[00:25:06] Yeah. Yeah. So eventually they'll feel the accomplishment, but they might not ever feel that if it's something they don't like to do. Yeah. If it's something they do like to do and they're still scared to try it or whatever, that's what we're dealing with at our house. Like, I know you're gonna love this.
[00:25:20] I just, I need you to try it. And Then I feel like then eventually they don't, they don't need the outside rewards, you know, they get it internally. And that is the ultimate goal, is to be like, Oh, you felt so good doing that, and you saw this, you know, this growth and the accomplishments and you should be so proud of yourself.
[00:25:41] And that's like, Yes. And I would say too, like, you know your child best, right? Yes. Yes. I think sometimes this is appropriate, sometimes it's not. Sometimes for sure the thing that you're trying to do isn't really necessary. So I would ask yourself those tough questions. Mm-hmm. And see [00:26:00] where you can give a little too.
[00:26:02] And yeah, I would try not, I mean, like, I don't know, I just, I hear from a lot of people or a lot of situations that like, homeschool is a struggle and there's lots of crying and my kid doesn't wanna do this or whatever. And I just think that that sh that shouldn't be the majority of it. Right. Right. You, you have to be a good judge of when it's appropriate to do a little bit of nudging.
[00:26:26] And I also think like you know, you can't do that the whole day, so no. You have to really pick what you have to pick. Yep. Mm-hmm. , you have to pick when it's, when to use that. When are you willing to use that? Cuz you don't have many of those ships in your pocket. You really don't. Right. And my kids too are sometimes even when I give the outside, you know, dayle, the carrot in front of them, they're like, No, no, thanks.
[00:26:50] I've seen that before I got into it. No, thank you. Not worth it. And I, I get it. I understand that too. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . And some, and sometimes [00:27:00] kids are so shut down that there's nothing, there's nothing, You don't even, you know, even doing, doing anything to push. Your agenda forward is just going to damage the relationship, and that's when you know it's time to just stop and connect and for sure move on.
[00:27:18] Stopping and connecting is just. The most important. And then listening, just really listen to them, like, why are they not into this? Yeah. You know? And then if they're giving good reasons, like, is this really that important at this age? Right. And even if they might, they might not. That's the other thing is they might not be communicating good reasons at this point in their lives.
[00:27:39] They might not be. So we have to kinda, as parents, I don't know, like it's really difficult, but. You know, we sometimes just have to read between the lines a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. , but hopefully they can, maybe you can even what you see, you can, you can talk to them about what you observe and what you [00:28:00] notice might be happening if they're not able to tell you.
[00:28:03] Mm. Mm-hmm. You know, what's wrong? What I'm noticing is this, is that right? Do you think this is right or not? Yeah. Or whatever. But it'll, eventually it'll start to come out the more you practice mm-hmm. , that kind of communication. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. All right, . I hope that was helpful. Well, I hope so too. I always love talking about this kind of stuff.
[00:28:25] We would love to hear your thoughts too. All right. Let's move on to lt. Ws Loving this week. Angela, what are you loving?
[00:28:33] Okay. I am loving a skincare product. Now, , I hesitate in saying this cause I'm not like a skincare person and I don't necessarily know what I'm doing. So I'm not like an expert. So just this is my non-expert product opinion. Noted. Okay. . This is for a product from the ordinary. It's called a aha, 30% plus bha, 2% peeling solution.
[00:28:59] Actually, I think the name is [00:29:00] just Peeling Solution. Oh, okay. Okay. So it comes in like a glass bottle with a dropper. Okay. And what you do, it's like a mask that you might wear at night to exfoliate, and you don't use it that often. You would maybe use it once, maybe twice a week at the most, right? Mm-hmm.
[00:29:18] So, and it sits on your face, like it goes on kind of like a thick liquid. Oh, wow. And it sits on your face for like 10 minutes. Okay. And then you wash it off. And then the next day, your skin looks amazing. Oh my gosh, . Wow. That's what it is. So I bought this in like I just looked, 2019 was when I bought it the first time, and I just ran out and reordered.
[00:29:43] So like I've had it for a long time now. I don't think I've been using it every week. Yeah. I think I've gone a few weeks in the middle without, But it, my point is it lasts a long time. It's $8. Wow. It's $8 on the ordinary.com. I like a lot of ordinary products. Oh yeah. So you could probably [00:30:00] get a few different things there.
[00:30:02] But I really love this one because it's basically like it peels off. Dead skin. I think that's amazing. This is my unprofessional terminology. It peels off your dead skin. Cause I feel like there is some ex, a lot of exfoliating products out there that I don't feel. Does that necessarily? Yeah, this really does that.
[00:30:23] Okay. So like whenever I'm like, my face starts to look, you know, where. Ugh. What's going on here? Like, it looks dull. Or like, I have some flakiness, I have some dry skin sometimes at the top, like in my forehead, and then I go, Oh yeah, I forgot I could do my, you could do my mask. Ooh. So I do it at night, like when I'm taking a bath and I just let it sit there.
[00:30:45] It does tingle does it? Which can become, It can feel weird. Okay. Okay. Shingles, but like, cuz that means it's working. I don't know. Okay. Okay. You wipe it off and then you just put. Put some moisturizer on top of it. You can go to bed and [00:31:00] like I said, the next day you wake up and you're like, Wow, what happened?
[00:31:02] Oh wow, this looks great. So I'm so excited about this. Yeah. So yeah, I wanted to let you all know that it's a really. Cheap and easy. Great way to, That's a good excuse to order a few things from the ordinary . Yeah. Right? Yes, yes. Mm-hmm. . All right. Martin, what are you loving this week? Okay. I'm loving a very simple snack and it's it's blue but blue diamond almonds, and they have newer flavor called Sweet Thai Chili.
[00:31:30] I get these from, Costco. So a very large bag, , very large bag of these. And I'm telling you, I think I might be the only one who eats them in my family and they go fast. So that's telling me I'm, I'm the one who, they're eating a lot, very large bag of these almonds. They're so delicious. And I just, you know, obviously protein filled, which I need in the middle of the day.
[00:31:58] Yeah. I need more [00:32:00] protein. Yeah. To keep going. These are great, great snacks. This is a great snack. I need new, I need new great snack ideas. Cause honestly, like snacks leave me lacking. I agree. Same. And I, I'm happy to eat something healthy if it's easy. Yeah. If it's easy, I will eat it. . Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . And this is, you know, Yeah.
[00:32:23] And it's so tasty. It's, you know, it's just like, it's a, it's sweet. It's a little sweet. It's a little spicy. Which I love. The only thing I don't like is that it gets my fingers. I was gonna say, do they? Yeah. Yeah. I don't like that. I do not like that. But I, It's obviously very worth it to me, , because I continue, continue to buy these every time.
[00:32:45] That's awesome. Shop at Costco. . That's great. And they're just for you because your kids aren't into them, so they're just for me. I'm sure. I'm sure my husband eats them too. I don't know. He must, He must. I keep telling myself that. Because they You must. You must. [00:33:00] Yeah. Right, right. That's what I think. I hide.
[00:33:03] I do have chocolate that I hide because I'm like, People, you cannot keep eating this. This is just for me. Yes. Which I know every parent probably hides. Definitely. So, Okay. Yep. Same. All right. Well thank you everybody for being here today. Special thank you to our three sponsors, Blossom and Ro Out School and Knight Zookeeper.
[00:33:26] Be sure to check out their links in our show notes. This podcast is created and hosted by Angela C and Mar Gorse. We are listener support. To get extra content and the Back to School summit free with your membership, go to patreon.com/homeschool unrefined. Subscribe to our newsletter and get our free top 100 inclusive book list@homeschoolunrefined.com slash newsletter.
[00:33:54] You can find Maren on Instagram at unrefined Maren, and at Always Learning With [00:34:00] Maren Find Angela at unrefined Angela.