29. Merle Bombardieri, MSW, LICSW on Navigating The Baby Decision

Aug 7, 2024

Merle Bombardieri, MSW, LICSW, is a seasoned clinical social worker and author who helps individuals navigate the complex decision of parenthood. She shares insights on how couples can address disagreements, emphasizing the importance of open communication. Discussing the pressures surrounding the choice to have children or remain child-free, Merle also highlights the often-overlooked option of having one child. With a focus on self-trust and curiosity, she encourages listeners to confront their fears about pregnancy and fully explore their motivations.

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ANECDOTE

Merle's Parenting Decision Journey

Merle Bombardieri shared how she and her husband spent a year and a half deeply discussing parenthood before deciding.
She was influenced by role models balancing careers and motherhood who affirmed the joys and challenges of parenting.

INSIGHT

Growth vs. Safety in Parenthood

Parenthood and childfreedom are growth or safety decisions depending on individual perspectives.
Neither having children nor being child-free is inherently growth or safety; it depends on personal context.

ADVICE

Make Conscious Parenthood Decisions

Make a conscious choice to have a child, be child-free, or postpone it with clear markers.
Avoid accidental pregnancies as they disconnect you from responsibility and increase regret.

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In this conversation, Keltie interviews her colleague and mentor, Merle Bombardieri — author of The Baby Decision, clinical social worker, and parent decision coach — about the decision to have or not have children. You'll hear them discuss:

How couples can navigate disagreements on this topic and find a solution that works for both partners.
Why there's no obligation to do anything special as a childfree person, and also, many childfree individuals end up doing extraordinary things.
Some of the more recent factors that Merle has seen over her 45-year career, which are making the Kids or Childfree decision more difficult.
Tips for addressing a fear of pregnancy and loss of control over one's body during pregnancy and child birth.
The societal pressures and expectations surrounding the Kids or Childfree decision — plus guidance on how to navigate these concerns and make an informed choice.
Why having one child could be an excellent — yet often-overlooked — option for fence-sitters.
The existential questions and mortality that can be stirred up by this decision, and the importance of curiosity and self-trust in the decision-making process.

As mentioned in the show: Find Merle online at thebabydecision.com. Instagram: instagram.com/thebabydecision Facebook: facebook.com/thebabydecision About Merle:

Merle Bombardieri, MSW, LICSW, has been a private practice clinical social worker and psychotherapist for over 30 years. She specializes in parenthood decision-making, infertility, adoption, and making the most of a childfree life. The first edition of her book The Baby Decision was published in 1981. She lives in St. Petersburg, Florida, and Peterborough, New Hampshire.

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