Healing Conversations for Men Who Have Sex with Men Heroism and Resilience in the Gay Community with John-Manuel Andriote
John-Manuel Andriote is an award-winning author, journalist, speaker, and communication consultant. Since 1983 he has written about health and medicine, LGBT issues and popular culture. He has reported on HIV-AIDS for more than 30 years. He joins the show to talk about reframing and rewriting the story of gay men, how we can improve our ability to be resilient, and his newest book Stonewall Strong: Gay Men's Heroic Fight for Resilience, Good Health, and a Strong Community.
TAKEAWAYS:
[1:38] John identifies a hero and role model as someone that lives out their values to be the best they can be, and helps raise others up in the process. Through his own work he loves shining a spotlight on those in the LGBTQ movement that display these qualities of compassion, courage and awareness of belonging to a bigger community, such as Reverend Bean and Ginny Apuzzo.
[5:29] John came to terms with his own HIV diagnosis in 2005 while he was living in Washington D.C. as a journalist. The experience became the catalyst for thinking about resilience.
[9:02] While apps and online sites provide an opportunity to meet others, they have downsides like isolation and loneliness when we are reduced to superficial and shallow interactions. Part of a healthy life is having real connection with others.
[13:18] in the mid 1990’s, John saw the crystal meth epidemic move eastward from the west coast.
[16:18] People look to numb themselves and dissociate from uncomfortable feelings like trauma and shame. Often times the addictive behavior is driven from loneliness and a desire for true connection.
[19:03] Cases of abuse are consistent in men that continue to engage in high risk sexual activities. When we focus on addressing people’s trauma rather than getting caught up in judging them, we can speak about things that matter and keep them safe.
[23:36] Resilience is a skill, and we can learn to be more resilient. It’s how we frame our story, and how we tell ourselves what our traumatic experience means.
[27:21] We can improve the experience of getting older as gay men by embracing resiliency.
RESOURCES:
QUOTES:
● “We didn’t know we were a part of a movement, we were just living our lives.” — Ginny Apuzzo
● “Heroism is a matter of common decency.” — Albert Camus
● “If they learn to value themselves for who they really are, miracles occur.”
● “The way we learn to be resilient is by learning how to frame the story.”
● “Aging is a ripening.”