The Partnership Podcast Stop Asking “Are You OK?”: Why Partners Need Better Questions
In this episode of The Partnership Podcast, Lauren and Trey break down two of the most unhelpful questions partners ask: “Are you OK?” and “What’s wrong?”
Right before recording, Lauren asked Trey, “Are you OK?”—and it sparked a powerful conversation. These questions often come from hypervigilance in our own nervous systems, not from genuine curiosity about our partner’s well-being.
Trey shares the stress response he felt in his body and why he’d prefer to hear:
“Is there any way I can support you?”
Or even, “My body can sense some discomfort in yours. Would you like to share about that?”
From there, the two dive into:
🎯 Why “Are you OK?” rarely lands the way we hope
🎯 A playful story about hiding a package of cat wipes around the house (at 8:15)
🎯 How men often bottle their emotions, and the vulnerability of asking for what we want (14:00)
🎯 Why Lauren centers individual agency—not the relationship itself—when working with couples (17:45)
🎯 The importance of protecting privacy in partnership and in coaching
🎯 Trey’s heartfelt confession about wanting to “level up” alongside Lauren as she grows (29:30)
This episode is equal parts playful and profound—exploring how tiny moments (“Are you OK?”) reveal the deeper ways we connect, protect, and grow together.
✨ Curious about how these tools could support your relationship? Request a free 15-minute consult with Lauren to explore what’s possible: https://www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult
About Us: Lauren and Trey are partners living in Central Virginia where Lauren owns and operates, SEX ED FOR YOU. She provides comprehensive sexuality education and embodied coaching to individuals, partners, and parents.
Through a biopsychosocial approach, Sex Ed for You works to restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as increase the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. (WHO)
Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and to the social and economic development of communities and countries. (WHO) When individuals are blocked from sexual health they are stunted from developing a sense of sensual play and enjoyment.
• Learn more about Sex Ed for You at https://www.sexedforyou.com
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• Learn more about partnered communication best practices on Sex Ed For You’s Instagram Page: https://www.instagram.com/sex_ed_for_you/
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Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator and Embodied Intimacy and Relationship Coach.