The First Year of Parenting: What I Wish I’d Known (Vanessa Van Edwards)

#185 — Vanessa Van Edwards learned right away that being an expert in behavioral science did not translate into innate parenting know-how.

An author, speaker, and lead investigator with Science of People, Vanessa first appeared on Episode #96 of Startup Parent. She returned for Episode #104, in which she busted some myths about the first weeks of parenthood.

Now, she’s opening up about the first year, explaining that while some phases do indeed “go by so fast,” others can feel like a slog, but telling parents that it goes by so fast is not, well, helpful. We dig into the nitty-gritty of the first year of parenting, what surprised us, what we wish we’d known, and the milestones most parenting books miss.

We also talk about miscarriage, and Vanessa also speaks honestly about the experience of having a miscarriage at eight weeks, and the physicality of it—many people talk about the emotional experience, but she wasn’t prepared for how long it would take, and what her body would go through in the experience.

Tune in to this episode to hear Vanessa’s take on what the first year of parenting was like for her, how it affected her perspective on work and friendships, and also how the pandemic (and parenting) might also be an opportunity for a fresh start.

Episodes mentioned: 

• Episode #96, our first interview with Vanessa on Startup Parent. 
• Episode #104, in which she busted some myths about the first weeks of parenthood.