

123. Abundant Repair: Our Agreement That Turns Conflict Into Connection
Apr 24, 2025
Explore the transformative power of abundant repair in relationships. Learn how intentional repair can shift conflict from a setback to a deepening connection. Discover attachment theory's role in navigating these dynamics and why small, timely repairs prevent resentment. Hear personal stories and listener questions on recurring triggers and the challenges of one-sided repair efforts. This conversation emphasizes mutual growth, shared purpose, and the importance of staying engaged in healing discussions.
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Conflict As Growth
- Conflict is an opportunity to grow stronger when couples commit to repairing abundantly.
- Fully repairing prevents lingering scars and builds trust in the relationship's resilience.
Attachment Phases Matter
- Attachment theory frames relationships in three phases: attunement, rupture, and repair.
- Many families lack repair skills, making repair a learned, non-intuitive ability to cultivate.
Aim For Zero Emotional Charge
- Aim to get back to zero emotional charge after conflict and notice somatic relaxation as a signal of repair.
- Expect repair to sometimes require multiple conversations over days or weeks, not just five minutes.