Stoics believe in self-control and helping others. Giving constructive feedback is important for personal growth. The importance of asking if someone wants to hear an opinion before giving it. Having a dialogue and asking questions instead of preaching. Keeping judgements out of the conversation helps prevent defensiveness. Learning to give and take constructive feedback is a valuable skill.
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Quick takeaways
Admonition, as advocated by Stoics, is a milder and friendlier approach to correcting others, aiming to assist their growth without making them feel like bad people.
Constructive feedback should be given in a nonjudgmental manner, reframing it as a dialogue and avoiding imposing personal opinions, in order to create an environment that supports growth and self-improvement.
Deep dives
Admonishing with Kindness and Constructive Feedback
Epictetus emphasizes the importance of admonition, which is milder and friendlier than reproach. The Stoics believe in helping others see their faults, not to make them feel like bad people, but to assist their growth. The speaker reflects on their experience as a parent, striving to correct their children's actions without shaming them. They highlight the value of constructive feedback and its positive impact. The speaker's partner uses non-threatening feedback to help them improve conversations with friends. When correcting others, it's crucial to first seek permission and establish a dialogue. Encouraging self-reflection and avoiding judgments in conversations can lead to productive exchanges and personal growth.
Giving and Receiving Constructive Non-Judgmental Feedback
Providing feedback without judgment is challenging but essential for effective communication. The speaker emphasizes the difficulty of keeping personal opinions and judgments out of feedback conversations. They acknowledge their own struggle with strong opinions and stress the importance of conveying feedback constructively. By reframing feedback as a dialogue and helping individuals find their own solutions, feedback becomes less confrontational and more constructive. The speaker advises against imposing views on others but rather focuses on creating an environment that supports growth and self-improvement. The ability to give and receive nonjudgmental feedback is a valuable skill that benefits personal and professional relationships.
“To admonish is better than to reproach for admonition is mild and friendly, but reproach is harsh and insulting; and admonition corrects those who are doing wrong, but reproach only convicts them.” ― Epictetus