Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

'A Gay Man in New York' - with Colin Drucker from Alright Mary Podcast

Jun 5, 2024

Colin Drucker from Alright Mary Podcast shares his adventures in New York City's gay bar scene. Topics include resilience in a new city, challenges of job hunting, using substances for anxiety, and seeking connection in sexual encounters.

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ANECDOTE

Unexpected Move to NYC

Colin Drucker moved to New York after studying abroad in Melbourne, Australia, initially planning to return to Australia.
However, circumstances changed, and he found himself following a familiar path to New York without a concrete plan.

ANECDOTE

Tumultuous Start in NYC

Colin's initial move to New York was tumultuous, involving a breakup, temporary housing in a stranger's apartment, and job searching.
He describes feeling lost and envious of others' seemingly stable lives in the city.

ANECDOTE

Splash Rituals

Colin's early Splash experiences began with a pre-outing ritual involving drinks at home and a long subway ride.
He often arrived at Splash intoxicated, finding it reminiscent of gay clubs portrayed in media.

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One of my favourite things about queer people is that they make shit happen.

Ok, ok, so that's a massive generalisation. And here's another one...

Straight people (apologies to any that are reading this) are not forced to put themselves out there and meet people and make new connections in the same way that queer people are.

So they don't have to go through all the effort of plucking up the courage to go to bars and clubs on their own, and then talking to strangers and trying to appear charming. How exhausting!

But, that is exactly what this week's guest, Colin Drucker from the drag race recap podcast Alright Mary, did in his early days in New York City way back in the mid-00s.

Every weekend he would drink a cocktail or two at home, get on the subway, and made his way to his lost space, Splash, where adventures abounded....

Takeaways

Moving to a new city can be both intimidating and exciting, requiring resilience and adaptability.

Navigating the challenges of finding a job and a place to live in a big city requires resourcefulness and a willingness to take risks.
Personal experiences and relationships can shape our perceptions and behaviors, even in the context of a new environment. Trying to please others and be seen as good enough can lead to exhaustion and inauthenticity.
Using alcohol or drugs as a crutch to feel more comfortable in social situations can have negative consequences.
The desire for connection and to be chosen can drive behavior in sexual encounters.
Anxiety can have a significant impact on daily life and relationships.
Finding healthy ways to manage anxiety, such as therapy or medication, is important.
Colin reflects on his experiences at Splash, a gay nightclub in New York City, and the expectations he had for his life as a gay man.
He shares his journey of letting go of societal expectations and finding new priorities.
The conversation highlights the importance of resilience and the unpredictability of life's outcomes.

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