When you're dealing with whining, hitting, defiance, back talk…well, of course you want it to stop. But what if behavior change isn’t actually the place to start? Not for long-term behavior change, at least.

In this episode, I explore why behavior change does matter, but why it’s not the first goal, especially for kids with vulnerable nervous systems.

HEADS UP! I’m not necessarily asking YOU- the one facing these out of control behaviors- to change your goal of behavior change. But…what if the people who are helping you could stay focused on that truth?!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why all behavior makes sense—even the baffling kind
What happens when we shift from changing behavior to addressing the nervous system
How holding two truths at once helps you feel more regulated, even in hard moments

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/BehaviorChange

Teaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!

Register for this once-a-year webinar on September 4, 2025 at RobynGobbel.com/TeachKidsTheBrain

You'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.

Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!

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Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

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Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

#28 Koosh Balls & Countess