Helping Couples Heal Podcast 97. Navigating Betrayal Anger with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck
In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck, a therapist, trauma survivor, and author of Betrayal Trauma Anger: You’re Not Crazy, You’re Angry, and You Should Be. They explore a topic that is often misunderstood and shamed: the intense and very normal anger experienced by betrayed partners after betrayal.
For too long, the clinical field has labeled this anger as “vengeful” or “unforgiving.” Crystal helps us flip that narrative, showing why anger is a natural, healthy response to the profound injustice of betrayal and an important part of the healing journey.
In this episode, you will hear about:
- Why anger is a natural response and how betrayal creates deep emotional and nervous system reactions
- The S.C.I.P. Protocol, Crystal’s 4-step tool, Sit down, Calm down, Identify, and Process, for navigating triggers
- Anger on the brain and why it is impossible to reason through a trigger when the amygdala is hijacked
- Reframing for the partner who betrayed and how accountability, consistency, and presence can reduce ongoing anger
- Moving toward repair and how seeing anger as a signal of wounding rather than a flaw supports connection and empathy
By reframing anger as a signal of wounding rather than a character flaw, couples can move from defensiveness to empathy, and from shame to true repair.
Click here to download Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck’s S.C.I.P. Protocol.
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