How to Navigate Conflict and Set Boundaries at Work with Dr. Jen Fry

Conflict is part of being human, but many leaders still struggle to approach difficult conversations in a healthy, productive way. Whether it shows up as tension on a team, discomfort around identity-based issues, or uncertainty about when to speak up, many professionals have never been given the tools to navigate conflict with confidence.

In this episode of The Leadership Habit Podcast, host Jenn DeWall speaks with Dr. Jen Fry, a social justice educator, speaker, and researcher who helps individuals and organizations understand how identity, communication, and power dynamics shape the way we engage with one another. Through her deeply practical and accessible approach, she shows leaders how to build stronger relationships, develop healthy boundaries, and embrace conflict as an opportunity for growth.

Meet Dr. Jen Fry, Conflict Literacy Expert

Dr. Jen Fry is the founder of JenFryTalks, a social justice education firm that works with organizations, teams, and leaders to help them better understand race, identity, conflict, and communication. With a background in collegiate athletics, a doctorate focused on social justice and higher education, and years of experience coaching leaders through difficult conversations, Dr. Fry brings a grounded and approachable style to complex topics. She has worked with companies, universities, and sports organizations across the country, helping people understand how identity shows up in everyday interactions and how to communicate compassionately, directly, and effectively. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, ESPN, NPR, and other major outlets.

Why Conflict Is Necessary for Growth

Many professionals have been conditioned to think of conflict as something to avoid. Dr. Fry challenges this belief by explaining that conflict is not inherently harmful. It is simply a signal that something needs attention. When handled with clarity and care, conflict creates opportunities to repair, improve, and deepen relationships.

She explains that conflict avoidance often comes from fear. People fear being misunderstood, disliked, or labeled as difficult. As a result, they gloss over issues that need to be addressed, causing those small moments to grow into long-term resentment. Healthy conflict, on the other hand, creates space for honesty, accountability, and trust.

Dr. Fry emphasizes that leaders must get comfortable being uncomfortable. Growth requires willing participation in conversations that may feel awkward or tense. By learning to name what is happening, set appropriate boundaries, and stay present in the moment, leaders can strengthen their teams and reduce long-term friction.

Understanding the Role of Identity

Managing conflict requires understanding your own identity and how it shapes how you show up. Dr. Fry encourages leaders to consider how their lived experiences, cultural background, and social identity shape their lens.

For example, someone who grew up in a family that avoided conflict may naturally default to silence. Someone who learned early in life that speaking up had negative consequences may hesitate to voice concerns. Someone who carries marginalized identities may navigate conversations with stakes or risks different from those of colleagues who hold more privilege.

Recognizing these influences is not about judgment. It is about awareness. When leaders understand their own communication patterns, they can approach conflict more intentionally instead of reacting from old habits.

Why Boundaries Are Essential

One of the most powerful messages from Dr. Fry is that boundaries are not barriers. They are tools for clarity, safety, and mutual respect. Boundaries allow individuals to say what they need, articulate what is not acceptable, and protect their emotional and psychological well-being.

Dr. Fry explains that many people struggle with boundaries because they confuse them with ultimatums. Boundaries are not threats. They are statements about what you can and cannot manage. For example:

• I can talk about this issue, but I need a few hours to process it first.
• I want to resolve this, but I cannot do that while being interrupted.
• I am willing to listen, but I will not participate if the conversation becomes disrespectful.

Healthy boundaries help teams function more effectively. They reduce assumptions, prevent miscommunication, and build trust.

Intent Versus Impact

Another key insight Dr. Fry highlights is the difference between intent and impact. Good intentions do not erase harm. Leaders often justify their actions by explaining what they meant rather than acknowledging the other person’s experience.

Dr. Fry recommends focusing on impact first. When someone is hurt, the priority is to understand the harm, take responsibility where appropriate, and repair the relationship. This approach builds credibility and strengthens team cohesion.

How to Approach Difficult Conversations More Effectively

Throughout the episode, Dr. Fry shares practical strategies leaders can use to navigate challenging conversations with more skill and confidence. A few include:

• Pause before reacting. Ground yourself in the moment.
• Get curious instead of defensive. Ask questions that help you understand the other person’s perspective.
• Avoid assumptions. Seek clarity instead of filling in the gaps.
• Focus on the behavior, not the person. Naming specific actions reduces blame and opens space for problem-solving.
• Practice reflective listening. Repeat back what you hear to ensure mutual understanding.

These simple practices can shift even the most tense conversation into a constructive one.

Why Emotional Regulation Matters

Dr. Fry emphasizes that leaders must learn to regulate their emotions during conflict. This includes being aware of physiological responses such as tension, increased heart rate, or defensive body language. Emotional regulation allows leaders to stay present, think clearly, and communicate intentionally.

She encourages leaders to develop a toolkit of grounding strategies. These may include mindful breathing, taking a brief pause, writing down thoughts before responding, or seeking support from a trusted colleague. Emotional regulation is not about suppressing feelings. It is about creating enough space to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting automatically.

Where to Find More From Dr. Jen Fry

• Read her book: I Said No: How to Have a Backbone and Boundaries Without Being a Jerk 
• Visit her website: jenfrytalks.com
• LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jenfrytalks

The Crestcom Connection

At Crestcom, effective leadership requires courage, clarity, and the ability to navigate conflict with compassion. Our leadership development programs help leaders build the self-awareness, communication skills, and emotional intelligence needed to create strong, inclusive teams. Participants learn how to have difficult conversations, set healthy boundaries, and build environments where people feel respected and heard.

These skills are essential for building trust and driving meaningful results. When leaders approach conflict with intention and care, they create cultures that are resilient, collaborative, and aligned.

Take the Next Step

Listen to the full episode with Dr. Jen Fry to learn how you can navigate conflict more confidently and strengthen your leadership presence.

To bring these concepts to your team, request a complimentary two-hour leadership workshop at crestcom.com/freeworkshop.

 

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