NPR's Book of the Day In her new memoir, Jeannie Vanasco gets 'A Silent Treatment' from her mom
Oct 14, 2025
Jeannie Vanasco, a memoirist and author known for her insightful reflections on family dynamics, delves into her relationship with her mother in her memoir, *A Silent Treatment*. She shares how her mother's silent treatment, sometimes lasting up to six months, affected their bond. Jeannie discusses the anxiety of not knowing triggers for this silence and how it shaped her empathy. She also explores her mother’s traumatic past and how they ultimately learned to communicate better, highlighting the complexities of love and emotional coping.
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Basement Move Sparks Repeated Silences
- Jeannie Vanasco recounts her mother moving into her basement and then repeatedly giving her the silent treatment, sometimes for months.
- She lists behaviors like two-letter texts, locked doors, and stopped routines as signs her mother was retreating.
Silence As A Coping Mechanism
- Vanasco often didn't know what triggered the silence, which created anxiety and rumination.
- She reframed the behavior as her mother's coping mechanism rather than a calculated punishment.
Told Mom About The Memoir First
- Vanasco told her mother she planned to write the book and discussed its contents with her beforehand.
- Her mother responded dismissively, saying, "I'm old...It's your book."
