The 4 Part NVC Model - Session #3 - Nonviolent Communication Training - Marshall Rosenberg
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Feb 3, 2020
Explore the transformative power of honesty in fostering connection through nonviolent communication. Discover how clear observations and expressing feelings without criticism can enhance understanding. Learn to articulate human needs and reframe criticisms into constructive dialogues. The podcast also highlights the vital distinction between requests and demands, emphasizing the importance of compassionate communication in building empathy and connection.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Observation Without Evaluation
Clearly observe others' actions without evaluating or criticizing.
Describe specific behaviors, avoiding interpretations or judgments.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Teacher Evaluations
Marshall Rosenberg worked with school administrators on nonviolent teacher evaluations.
One principal realized his evaluations mixed observations with criticism, prompting him to rewrite them.
insights INSIGHT
Evaluating with Feelings and Needs
Express evaluations by connecting feelings to needs, not through moralistic judgments or diagnoses.
Focus on how behaviors affect your needs, without criticizing or blaming.
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Observations and Evaluations - Developing a Literacy of Needs and Strategies
We're interested, in nonviolent communication, with the kind of honesty that supports people connecting with each other in a way that makes compassionate giving inevitable, that makes it enjoyable for people to contribute to each other's well being.
This kind of honesty basically involves telling people what's alive in us, without using any words that criticize, and tell people what would make life more wonderful for us, what we are requesting, without presenting this as a demand, but presented as a request.
Many of us have been educated by an honesty that evolves from our system of justice, retributive justice which judges people is right or wrong, good or bad, with the attachment to that, that if you are good, right, appropriate, etc, you deserve to be rewarded. But if you are bad, wrong, etc. You deserve to suffer, be punished, etc.
THE FOUR BASIC STEPS OF NON-VIOLENT COMMUNICATION
1. OBSERVATION: Share a non-judgmental observation without any charged language that might put someone on the defensive
2. FEELINGS: Identify the feelings that are coming up
3. NEEDS: Connect these feelings to an underlying and universal human need
4. REQUEST: Make a request for the person to reflect back what you said and/or take a specific action.
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