s06e55 | "Gender Me This..." A Candid Chat with Sasha Ayad & Stella O'Malley About Therapy, Gender, & Online Bullies
Feb 6, 2024
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Therapists Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley discuss gender medicine, online bullying, and challenges faced by parents of transgender children. They explore the impact of revealing flaws in the medical system, the complexities of online behavior, and the negative effects of anonymity. They also touch on the connection between societal norms and beauty standards, as well as the purpose of anger in response to injustices. The episode concludes with the excitement of their upcoming season and book release.
Rejecting beauty norms can be a form of rebellion against the commodification of beauty and societal pressure to conform.
Some gender questioning individuals, particularly girls, initially embrace femininity before rejecting it due to bullying and pressure to conform to aesthetic expectations.
Beauty culture and societal beauty standards can have toxic effects, leading individuals to rebel and reject the notion of beauty altogether while recognizing the natural human desire for aesthetics.
Deep dives
The complexity of gender questioning and the desire for beauty
Gender questioning individuals often experience a complex relationship with beauty and aesthetics. It's not solely about rejecting femininity, but also rejecting the commodification of beauty and the pressure to conform to societal standards. Some individuals, especially girls, may go through a phase of hyper-femininity before rejecting it entirely. They may try to make themselves unattractive as a way to rebel against beauty norms and competition. However, it's important to recognize that the desire for beauty and engaging with aesthetics is a natural and inherent part of being human. It exists in nature and should not be dismissed as superficial. The key lies in finding a balance and avoiding the commodification and superficiality associated with beauty culture.
The transformation from feminine to gender questioning
Some gender questioning individuals, especially girls, may go through a transformation where they initially embrace femininity, spending hours on makeup, hair, and outfits to fit in with the popular girls. However, a turning point often occurs when they face bullying or criticism, which can lead to a rejection of the aesthetic expectations imposed on them. This rejection can take the form of embracing a more masculine appearance, such as binding their chest, growing out armpit hair, and wearing baggy clothes. It is a reaction to the pressure to conform and a way to distance themselves from the normie cis girls who represent the beauty standards they feel oppressed by.
The toxic influence of beauty culture
Beauty culture and the pressure to conform to societal beauty standards can have a toxic influence on individuals, especially girls. It can create a sense of competition and the need to constantly modify one's appearance to fit in. This can lead some individuals to rebel against these expectations and reject the notion of beauty altogether. It is essential to unpack and critique the commodification of beauty, while also recognizing that engaging with aesthetics and finding beauty in the world is a natural and human desire.
Navigating the complexity of gender questioning
The journey of gender questioning is nuanced and multi-faceted, and it is important to approach it with empathy and understanding. Each individual's experience is unique, and their reasons for questioning their gender may vary. It is crucial to provide a supportive and safe environment for individuals to explore their identity and express themselves authentically. This requires open communication, respect, and recognition of the fluidity of gender and the diverse ways it can be expressed. With sensitivity and acceptance, we can foster an environment that allows for personal growth and self-discovery.
The Pressure to Look a Certain Way
The podcast episode delves into the pressure young girls face to conform to certain beauty standards. It highlights how young girls are influenced by a world that is obsessed with looks and appearance. Despite the rise of empowerment and girl power movements, girls are still expected to maintain a certain level of attractiveness. This pressure is evident in their clothing choices, with many opting to wear revealing and sexualized outfits. The podcast also touches on the impact of social media and the difficulties girls face in navigating external attention and unwanted advances from men.
Navigating Anger and Boundaries
The podcast explores the complexity of anger among teenagers, particularly girls. It discusses how anger can serve as a natural response when feeling mistreated and its potential to inspire meaningful action. However, many young girls struggle with anger and may suppress it due to societal expectations and fear of being perceived as unpleasant. The episode raises questions about the importance of allowing oneself to experience and process anger and the potential consequences of repressing this emotion. It also touches on the challenges girls face in setting and enforcing boundaries, particularly in the face of unwanted attention and harassment.
Frequent guests @SashaLPC & @stellaomalleypsychotherapist , hosts of @widerlenspod and, in Stella's case, Director of @Genspect return to candidly talk about what the last five years discussing gender has taught them.
