“My husband doesn’t listen to me. He just tells me whatever he thinks I want to hear so that I’ll go away and leave him alone.”

“I’m sick of not being heard in my relationship. Whenever I try to have a conversation about a problem we’re having, she just waits until it’s her turn to talk so she can tell me I’m wrong.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard complaints like these from new arrivals to couples counseling. It’s no secret that “listening to each other” is a vital skill for healthy relationships, and it certainly sounds simple enough. Yet so many of us go wrong here. Something about the way we communicate, especially during important conversations with the people we love, leaves one partner feeling unheard and the other feeling confused and defensive. When you can’t get through to your partner, it can feel like there’s no path forward, leaving you both feeling stuck and dissatisfied.

But there are some little-known principles of communication that will help you get through to your partner and overcome communication blocks in any relationship. In today’s episode, we’re sharing them with you.

My guest is Jennifer C., a marriage and family therapist on our team at Growing Self who has helped so many couples overcome this frustrating issue. We’re discussing the reasons you don’t feel listened to in your relationship, and some tips that will help you both feel heard (spoiler: Getting progressively louder is not the solution!).

I hope you’ll check it out.

With love,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

growingself.com

P.S. — If you’d like more content on strengthening your relationship through effective communication, check out our “communication that connects” collection of podcast episodes and articles.

Day 175: Introduction to Confirmation