138 - Does Indecisiveness Mean You’re Not Ready for Change? We Ask Dr. William Miller
Jan 24, 2022
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Dr. William Miller discusses ambivalence, setbacks, and strategies for change. He emphasizes the importance of understanding conflicting feelings, handling mistakes, and guiding individuals through resistance to change. The podcast explores the need for substitutes in breaking habits and offers tips for navigating setbacks and self-improvement.
Ambivalence is a normal response to change, accepting mixed feelings is crucial for decision-making.
Acknowledging internal conflicts and focusing on positive motivations aid in navigating ambivalence effectively.
Deep dives
Understanding Ambivalence: The Normalcy of Mixed Feelings
Ambivalence, defined as conflicting feelings or intentions towards a change, is a common human experience. Dr. William Miller emphasizes that ambivalence, such as wanting to change but also resisting it, is a typical response when considering making changes like quitting smoking or starting a new habit. It is important to recognize that ambivalence is normal and does not indicate a lack of motivation. Dr. Miller highlights that individuals can simultaneously want and not want a change, and it's acceptable to have mixed feelings as part of the decision-making process.
The Inner Committee: Voices in Decision-Making
Dr. William Miller introduces the concept of the 'inner committee,' representing different voices in decision-making processes. He explains that these voices can advocate for change, oppose it, or remain neutral. By acknowledging and understanding these internal conflicts, individuals can navigate their ambivalence more effectively. Dr. Miller encourages focusing on the positive motivations for change and engaging with the committee members that support growth rather than resistance. This introspective approach allows individuals to weigh their desires and concerns without self-judgment.
Motivational interviewing, as discussed by Dr. William Miller, involves empowering individuals to articulate their own motivations for change. Instead of providing directives or advice, therapists and helpers should encourage individuals to express their reasons for wanting change. By fostering intrinsic motivation, individuals are more likely to take ownership of their decisions and progress. Dr. Miller highlights the importance of active listening and guiding individuals to reflect on their values and goals, ultimately enhancing their commitment to personal growth.
Overcoming Setbacks: Embracing Imperfection in Change
In the journey of change, setbacks and imperfections are inevitable, as shared by Dr. William Miller. He emphasizes that individuals should not view setbacks as failures but rather as learning opportunities. By reframing setbacks as temporary obstacles and acknowledging progress made, individuals can maintain their motivation and resilience. Dr. Miller advocates for self-compassion and encourages individuals to prepare antidote statements in advance to counter negative self-talk and sustain momentum towards their goals.
William Miller, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and a professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Mexico. He's also the co-founder of motivational interviewing, a strategy therapists use to help people deal with the ambivalence they feel about change.
He’s the author of many books, including his most recent book, On Second Thought, which explores the subject of ambivalence.
Some of the things he talks about are how to accept that you're not completely committed to change, how to handle mistakes and setbacks, and how to talk yourself into doing something when you're "on the fence."