When you’ve finally left a toxic marriage and your kids, especially adult kids, have spent years steeped in that same environment, the guilt can be crushing. You wonder: How do I help them heal? How do I set them up for success when I feel like I already failed them?

Dr. Alexandra Solomon is back, and we’re getting into the deep stuff: parenting through regret, healing alongside our kids, and what it means to let our children hold their truth, even when it wrecks us a little.

And, when you’ve walked through fire and come out whole, you get to show your kids that love can look like mutual adoration, and that being single is better than being stuck. Here are some truths you’ll hear: Your healing is the best gift you can give your child. Witnessing their pain doesn’t mean narrating their story. You’re allowed to screw up, and still be a good parent.

This one’s for every mother who wonders if it’s too late to get it right. It’s not.

Here’s what else we discuss in this episode:

Why witnessing your child’s pain is step one to their healing (7:25)
How healing ourselves supports our kids more than trying to fix them (9:37)
Why modeling a healthy post-divorce relationship can be life-changing (22:49)
The danger of “I don’t want my kid to make the same mistakes I did” (35:44)
How to have emotionally safe relationship talks with your kids (39:59)

Learn more about Dr. Alexandra Solomon, PhD: Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, is internationally recognized as one of today's most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her framework of Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the globe. A couples therapist, speaker, author, and professor, Dr. Solomon is passionate about translating cutting-edge research and clinical wisdom into practical tools people can use to bring awareness, curiosity, and authenticity to their relationships. She is a clinician educator and a frequent contributor to academic journals, and she translates her academic and therapeutic experience to the public through her popular Instagram page, which has garnered over 200K followers. She is on faculty in the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University and is a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. Her hit podcast, Reimagining Love, reaches tens of thousands of listeners across the globe each week and features high-profile guests from the worlds of therapy, academia, and pop culture. She is the award-winning author of two books: Taking Sexy Back and Loving Bravely, which was featured on the TODAY show.

Resources & Links:

Thank you to today’s podcast sponsor: Wild Pastures Submit your questions here for possible inclusion in future Q&A podcast episodes Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Alexandra’s website Intimate Relationships 101 Reimagining Love Podcast Alexandra on Instagram Alexandra on Facebook Masterclass Anxiety Toolkit

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-323-parenting-through-regret-and-repair-with-dr-alexandra-solomon/

Episode 547 - Skipping the Shower