How to Build Confidence and Be More Social with Vanessa Van Edwards

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Mar 2, 2022

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INSIGHT

Charisma Components

Charisma is a blend of warmth and competence, not some innate quality.
Highly charismatic people excel in both trustworthiness and capability, creating a powerful balance.

INSIGHT

Social Survival

Our brains quickly assess trustworthiness and reliability in social situations for survival.
We subconsciously seek warmth cues to determine trust and competence cues to assess reliance.

ANECDOTE

Siminoff's Shark Tank Pitch

Jamie Siminoff, Ring founder, initially failed his Shark Tank pitch due to poor communication, despite later success.
This demonstrates that charisma is a learnable skill, not tied to inherent ability or later achievements.

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Are there certain traits that make someone charismatic? Why do some people captivate a room, while others struggle to manage a small meeting? Why do some ideas spread, but other good ones fall by the wayside?

These are the questions that bestselling author and human behavior expert Vanessa Van Edwards seeks to answer in her new book, "Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication."

If we're often overlooked for job opportunities or have our ideas ignored, we should pay closer attention to the "tiny" signals we send to others through our body language, facial expressions, word choice, and vocal inflection.

Vanessa believes these "cues" have a huge impact on how we, and our ideas, come across and can either undermine or reinforce our message.

In today's episode, I talk with her about her book—and how we can convey likeability, trust, and power in every interaction.

Over 54 million people have seen Vanessa on YouTube and in her viral TED Talk. Her behavior research lab, Science of People, has been featured on Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, CNN, CBS, and Entrepreneur Magazine.

Here are some highlights from our conversation:

When we meet someone, over 80% of our judgments are based on two traits: warmth and competence.
The faster we can answer the following questions, the faster we can connect with people: Can I trust you? Can I rely on you?
Even in the virtual world, we can communicate effectively and give and receive social cues.
Myth: cues are less important on a video call.
Pro tip: Stand more than 18 inches away from the camera in an online meeting to avoid appearing to invade participants' intimate space. This helps others trust us more easily and see more cues, especially gestures, which is important because people use gestures to get additional information.

Enjoy!

Have a question? Text me 1-206-309-5177 Tweet me @chasejarvis

--- Today's episode is brought to you by CreativeLive. CreativeLive is the world's largest hub for online creative education in photo/video, art/design, music/audio, craft/maker and the ability to make a living in any of those disciplines. They are high quality, highly curated classes taught by the world's top experts -- Pulitzer, Oscar, Grammy Award winners, New York Times best selling authors and the best entrepreneurs of our times.