Death by 1,000 Cuts X: The Ten Emotional Commandments (You’re Most Likely Still Breaking)

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with emotional immaturity or narcissistic behavior, you know the truth:

 Healing doesn’t come with a map.

 Emotional safety doesn’t come with instructions.

 And waking up is rarely a straight line.

In this 10th “Death by 1,000 Cuts” episode, Tony introduces The Ten Emotional Commandments — the patterns, boundaries, and insights that so many people wish they had years earlier. These commandments aren’t rules you obey; they’re survival skills you learn. They’re the shifts that help you understand your emotions, trust your gut, stop overexplaining, and finally step out of the chaos you didn’t choose.

This episode is validating, grounding, sometimes funny, sometimes painful — and deeply relatable. With listener-submitted “cuts,” real-world examples, and a gentle breakdown of what healing actually looks like, Tony helps you recognize the patterns AND understand how to break them.

If you’ve felt alone in your confusion, in your exhaustion, or in the emotional whiplash of trying to make sense of someone else’s immaturity — this episode is for you.

00:00 Introduction and Series Overview

00:37 The Power of Your Stories

01:20 A Survivor's Poem

04:42 The 10 Emotional Commandments

08:54 Commandment 1: Raise Your Emotional Baseline

15:59 Commandment 2: Get Your PhD in Gaslighting

21:53 Commandment 3: Drop the Rope of Emotional Tug of War

27:33 Commandment 4: Set Boundaries and Mean Them

32:17 Stop Searching for the Perfect Words

33:01 Examples of False Promises and Manipulation

33:52 Understanding Emotional Immaturity

36:41 Limiting Your Attack Surface

40:13 Recognizing Projection

44:45 Honoring Your Inner Dialogue

48:37 Trusting Your Gut and Emotions

53:07 Change is Not Linear

57:51 Final Thoughts and Resources

Women navigating emotionally immature relationships: come join Tony’s private women’s Facebook group.

Men beginning your own emotional maturity journey: check out the Men’s Emotional Architects group.

Links in the show notes.

Contact Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com to learn more about his Emotional Architects men's group.

And visit https://julie-dejesus.com/cruise to learn more about Tony and his friend Julie De Jesus's "I See You Living" cruise, a 5-night Western Caribbean Cruise from January 24-29, 2026 aboard the Royal Caribbean Cruise Line.