EP 187: Reckon and Wonder - Witness, Matrimony, and the Making of Oral Culture with Stephen Jenkinson
May 11, 2023
auto_awesome
Kimberly Ann Johnson interviews Stephen Jenkinson, author and death worker, about their ongoing event series Reckoning. They discuss the role of witness in their work, politics of feelings, and their relationship to matrimony. They reflect on the difference between recording and live events and the unique impact it has on their relationships to the oral tradition.
Witnessing plays a crucial role in healing processes and can distribute emotional burdens, making the healing process less taxing on the practitioner.
Disillusionment can be an essential aspect of elderhood and serving others, helping navigate moral dilemmas and emphasizing the significance of engaging with dying individuals in an authentic and honest manner.
Marriage involves a certain loss of individuality and a reconfiguration of relationships and responsibilities, raising questions about power dynamics, gender roles, finances, and personal values.
Deep dives
The importance of witnessing and its impact on healing and the practitioner's experience
Witnessing plays a crucial role in healing processes and can enhance the experience for both the practitioner and the person receiving care. Having a witness present during one-on-one sessions can distribute emotional burdens and make the healing process less taxing on the practitioner. The witness learns indirectly from the session and the person receiving care benefits from a clearer understanding that the practitioner is not solely responsible for the outcome. Witnessing is essential in birth and death experiences, as well as other significant life events, as it involves being invited to partake in and support the emotional and practical aspects of the process.
The role of disillusionment in elderhood and serving others
Disillusionment can be an essential aspect of elderhood and serving others. Disillusionment is not about dampening spirits or negativity; rather, it is about disabusing oneself of misguided notions and questioning the frameworks that may lead to abuse and powerlessness. Elderhood involves making tough decisions about whom to prioritize when working with individuals who are dying and facing mortality. Disillusionment helps navigate moral dilemmas and emphasizes the significance of engaging with dying individuals in an authentic and honest manner. It brings forth the understanding that how one dies has far-reaching consequences for the people they love. Being a witness and participating in the grieving process requires recognizing the importance of loneliness and caring for people's loneliness without belittling or demonizing it.
Navigating the complexities of marriage, loss, and transformation
Entering into marriage involves a certain loss of individuality and a reconfiguration of relationships and responsibilities. It can be challenging to understand the different traditions, expectations, and cultural factors that come into play during the ceremony and beyond. The process of getting married raises questions about power dynamics, gender roles, finances, and personal values. It involves contemplating the impact on oneself, children, and extended family. Marriage is seen as a transformative experience that can change the way decisions are made and priorities are set. It requires acknowledging the loss that can come with marriage while also celebrating the union and the growth it brings.
Importance of being attentive to external movements
The podcast episode emphasizes the importance of being attentive to external movements and not being stuck in repetitive patterns. The speaker discusses how things are changing rapidly and what was considered important before may no longer hold true. There is a need to evolve and adapt to new understandings and perspectives. The conversation delves into the tendency to dismiss feelings and feminine qualities, and the speaker highlights the importance of acknowledging a wider range of experiences and perspectives. The discussion touches on the dangers of prioritizing victimhood and the shifting dynamics in relationships and societies.
Exploring the challenges of feelings and psychology as a dominant narrative
The podcast delves into the challenges of feelings and psychology becoming the dominant narratives in society. The speaker highlights the proliferation of labels and the cultural obsession with psychology as a religion. The discussion focuses on the implications of valuing personal feelings above everything else and how it affects relationships and understanding. The conversation explores the role of witnessing, grief, and alchemy in navigating personal and collective experiences. The speakers challenge the notion of quick solutions and highlight the importance of sitting with discomfort and embracing the complexities of life.
In this episode, guest host and podcast producer Jackson Kroopf interviews Kimberly and Stephen Jenkinson about their ongoing event series Reckoning: Birth and Death Among Us. They discuss the role of witness in their work as birth and death workers, the politics of feelings in a culture where pop psychology has become a religion, and dive deeply into their relationship to matrimony. In anticipation of their final event this summer, “Reckon and Wonder: Grief, Elderhood and Spirit Work,” taking place this June 29th-July 2nd, 2023 at the Orphan Wisdom school in Ontario, they reflect on the difference between recording and live events and the unique impact that their convergence has revealed in their respective relationships to the oral tradition.
What You’ll Here
Reflections on witness from retired birth and death workers
The value of disillusionment
The power of loneliness
The proliferation of self pathologizing
The complex politics of feelings
The religion of western psychology
Adolescents grabbing for pop psychology labels
The respect in not offering solutions
The eagerness to escape from pain while grieving
Is love dead?
Blessing not as approval but the emergence of something new
Marriage as both celebration and loss
Matrimony between cultures
An only child and single parent inviting in a new husband