What to Do When You Want to Yell at Your Husband - Ann Wilson
May 14, 2025
Discover the transformative power of words in marriage, especially in how women can uplift their husbands instead of resorting to criticism. Hear personal stories revealing the profound impact of affirmation over decades of marriage. Delve into the biblical concept of a wife's role, reinterpreted as a powerful partner rather than a passive supporter. Explore open communication, mutual support, and seeking fulfillment through faith, showcasing how a strong relationship with God can enhance connections between spouses.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Ann's Words Transformed Dave
Dave Wilson shares how Ann's affirmations changed his view and motivated him to be a better husband and spiritual leader.
A hard critique from Ann led Dave to realize he needed to bring passion home just like at church.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Build Up, Don't Tear Down
Criticizing husbands harshly often demotivates rather than motivates.
Affirming and speaking life into men builds them up and leads to positive change.
insights INSIGHT
True Meaning of "Helper Suitable"
The Hebrew word for helper, "ezer," signifies strength and equals divine partnership, not subservience.
The term "suitable" means standing "toe to toe," depicting the wife as a strong partner, not a subordinate.
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How to Speak Life to Your Husband When All You Want to Do Is Yell at Him
How to Speak Life to Your Husband When All You Want to Do Is Yell at Him
Ann Wilson
Dave Wilson
In this emotionally rich and spiritually grounded episode of FamilyLife Today, Dave and Ann Wilson dive into one of the most personal, transformative aspects of their marriage—how powerful, life-giving words can uplift and transform a spouse, especially within the context of Christian marriage.
The episode centers on themes from Ann Wilson’s book, specifically focusing on how women can speak life into their husbands even when all they want to do is criticize or “coach” them. Dave vulnerably shares the impact of Ann's affirmations over their 45 years of marriage—how both praise and constructive criticism shaped him into a better man, father, husband, and spiritual leader.
One pivotal story revisited multiple times is when Ann expressed disappointment in the difference between Dave’s passionate presence at church and his disengaged presence at home. While Dave’s initial reaction was defensive, he later realized through prayer that God was speaking through Ann, awakening him to the need for spiritual leadership at home.
They unpack the idea of the wife as a “helper suitable” (from Genesis 2:18), diving deep into the original Hebrew words “ezer” and “k’negdo.” These terms, often misunderstood as denoting subservience, are redefined as symbols of strength, equality, and divine partnership. Ann shares insights from theologians and Jewish scholars, painting a picture of a wife not as a passive supporter but a warrior who stands toe to toe with her husband, helping him become all that God created him to be.
The Wilsons emphasize the importance of affirming the good in each other rather than tearing each other down, especially when trying to correct faults. Critique alone rarely motivates change; but love-filled truth, built on a foundation of encouragement, does. They compare it to making deposits in an emotional bank account: affirmations are deposits, and critiques are withdrawals. Without a balance of positivity, correction only causes further distance.
The episode ends with a reflection on the spiritual reality of marriage. They stress that spouses must first be filled by God, or they will look to each other to meet needs only Christ can fill—resulting in disappointment and relational strain. Instead, if both partners are spiritually nourished, their love and support become an overflow rather than a demand.
This candid conversation offers practical insight, biblical wisdom, and personal vulnerability that challenges and encourages both husbands and wives to build marriages that reflect God’s design and grace.
FamilyLife Today®