Bret (49 straight dude, monogamishly married to his partner of 11 years) loves to offer his wife pleasure and feels sexiest during postcoital cuddles. His dad taught him to always respect a partner’s boundaries, his friends had a great treehouse full of adult magazines, his first visual guide to understanding sex, but reading the articles is what led to his first boner, and everything up-leveled for his friend group when one of them got his hands on a VHS porno. Early experiences included misfires due to lack of condom preparedness, handcuffs and tickling with clothed making out, being undressed and masturbated by a partner who told him what to do. He will always remember the date of his first penetration and the underwear his partner wore, and tells stories about being happily surprised by a threesome and implicit, clear communication in the form of an outfit change request, his first blowjob (in the shower, on the day of a job interview), important lessons around anal, surprises, and explicit communication, and his methods for studying up on sex. He also shares his favorite position for a blowjob, a squirting mission accomplished, his dad’s Golden Pussy philosophy, being the center of attention in a threesome and the excitement of rules changing from one night to the next, and what it was like to tour with a femme rock band. He talks about holding space for his partner who is currently processing her own trauma, dreams of orgies, nostalgia for porn with storylines, and hopes for a consistent third and more awesome hotness with his wife.

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