Donor Appeals vs. Donor Relationships: What Truly Drives Giving?

In this thoughtful Fundraisers Friday conversation, cohosts Julia C. Patrick and Tony Beall take viewers inside one of the most persistent tensions in fundraising: the distinction between donor appeals and donor relationships. Using real experiences, honest stories, and decades of shared sector knowledge, they walk through why these two ideas are often treated as opposites—when in reality, they function best in tandem.

Their convo opens with warmth and camaraderie, quickly shifting into a substantive examination of how appeals work. Tony offers a clear definition, noting that appeals are intentional, seasonal communications designed to spur timely action. Year-end campaigns, back-to-school initiatives, and Giving Tuesday messages all fall squarely into this category. They carry a sense of immediacy, a call for participation “in the here and the now.”

But as Julia points out, the urgency of an appeal can mask deeper strategy concerns. Organizations sometimes over-rely on “spray-and-pray” messaging, sending thousands of identical asks without considering whether the recipient is already deeply invested, newly aware, or somewhere in between.

From here, the cohosts explore the more nuanced terrain of donor relationships—a slower, more personal rhythm grounded in trust, communication, alignment of values, and long-term stewardship. As Tony states in one of the episode’s most resonant lines, “Building the relationships, maintaining the engagement… will ultimately result in a larger gift.” It’s a reminder that fundraising is seldom about instant gratification; it is about cultivating connection over time.

The two also address the emotional dynamics of how appeals are perceived. Tony shares a striking moment when he received a letter with the single handwritten word “Help!”—a gesture intended to convey urgency but which instead signaled distress. Julia and Tony use this example to emphasize the responsibility fundraisers have when they frame need, motivation, and tone. They move into donor segmentation, donor tiers, and the organizational realities faced by nonprofits of every size—from kitchen-table startups to high-rise institutions.

Throughout the conversation, the cohosts reinforce the idea that appeals and relationships should not be competing strategies. Instead, they are complementary tools within a bigger architecture—one that acknowledges the emotional, operational, and strategic layers that shape philanthropic investment.

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