What Depression and Suicide Really Feel Like: Steve’s Survival Story of Hope

What does depression—and a suicide attempt—really feel like? Steve Austin knows firsthand. Raised in a conservative church, Steve hid decades of shame, trauma, and depression behind a “life of the party” persona. But on the eve of his son’s first birthday, despair and suicidal thoughts nearly took his life.

In this deeply vulnerable conversation, Steve shares his survival story: from childhood abuse, hidden depression, and a near-fatal suicide attempt to five years of recovery, therapy, and rediscovering hope. He talks about the lies shame tells us, the importance of asking for help, and how vulnerability can become strength.

If you’ve ever wondered what depression really feels like—or how someone survives suicidal thoughts—Steve’s story is a powerful reminder that hope begins in the dark.

Primary Topics Covered:

• What depression and suicidal thoughts really feel like
• Childhood trauma, hidden shame, and its lifelong impact
• The night of Steve’s suicide attempt and what followed
• Why suicide is not peaceful, and why language matters
• Asking for help as an act of courage, not weakness
• How vulnerability and honesty break the shame spiral
• Practical tools for survival: therapy, medication, self-care
• Why hope begins in the dark, even on the hardest days

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro – Why sharing stories matters
00:40 Addressing suicide language: “attempted” vs. “committed”
01:40 Meet Steve – life of the party, but hiding trauma
02:46 Childhood sexual abuse and its long shadow
03:29 Struggles with hidden depression as a pastor and father
04:36 “Sometimes we need more than Jesus” – the need for therapy & medication
05:48 The night of his suicide attempt
06:49 Waking up in the hospital – anger, shame, and slow recovery
07:39 Why telling the truth and asking for help can save lives
08:47 Hope in darkness – Anne Lamott’s words on survival
09:19 Why asking for help is strength, not weakness
09:52 Vulnerability, shame spirals, and survival one day at a time
11:39 Suicide is not peaceful – important clarifications
12:45 Steve’s ongoing work: writing, self-care challenge, advocacy
13:15 Closing reflections – why telling our stories matters

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