The Fear of Becoming You: Why Some Leaders Change, and Others Never Will

In this new coaching episode host Sophie Vo and co-host Maria Gillies are tackling the “Fear of Becoming You,” uncovering the profound themes surrounding leadership, self-awareness, and personal transformation.

These themes have resonated particularly for women leaders navigating the complexities of authenticity and growth.

Changing: The Paradoxes of Growth

In our discussion, we delved into the paradoxical nature of personal growth. Many leaders express a desire to rise and transform while simultaneously fearing what that transformation might entail. The fear of “becoming someone you do not want to be” often mirrors a deeper apprehension of losing integral parts of oneself in the pursuit of growth.

Identify When You Are Sabotaging Yourself

Change starts with awareness.

Recognizing where you feel stuck or conflicted—such as the fear of becoming your own Villain—can unveil deeper self-limiting beliefs. Trust that acknowledging these feelings is the first step toward overcoming them.

Recalibrate Relationships: In and Out

As you grow, you may need to reassess your relationships, including the one you have with yourself. Growth often requires reevaluation and sometimes letting go of connections that no longer serve your true self.

This requires courage, and is part of the process of change.

Practice Daily Self-Awareness

True self-awareness involves daily practices of introspection. Writing down and honoring your boundaries can guard your authenticity and prevent self-abandonment.

3 Signs You Are Not Aligned

Leadership isn’t merely about external success; it’s about fulfilling your role while staying true to yourself.

When shadows loom in leadership, signals manifest physically and emotionally, disrupting our well-being. Watch out for these:

* Physical Symptoms: Stress or burnout symptoms such as anxiety, panic attacks, and physical exhaustion suggest misalignment in your path and priorities.

* Emotional Up and Downs: Feelings of loneliness or disconnection, even when surrounded by people, are strong indicators that introspective work is needed.

* Constant Misalignments: Recurring conflicts or dissatisfaction in professional and personal settings often highlight deep-seated issues begging for resolution.

✍️ Coaching Tools

For leaders seeking to address these shadows, fostering a conscious, self-aware mindset is crucial. Here are some practical options:

* Daily Journaling: Spend time each day reflecting on your thoughts and feelings. Focus on areas that are out of alignment and use journaling to explore their roots.

* Boundary Setting: Identify what is yours, what is not yours? Establish boundaries that protect your time and energy. Practice saying no.

* Weekly Calibration: Regularly pause to assess your emotional state and recent interactions. Are they nourishing or depleting? Consciously decide who and what fills your environment. Change it.

* Journey with a group: Join communities or circles where you can share experiences and gain diverse perspectives. These spaces offer opportunities for learning, healing, and collective growth.

Don’t be afraid to explore those uncomfortable questions:

“What am I afraid of losing in the process of becoming who I truly want to be?”

“When did I last ignore my instincts, and what was the outcome?”

“What relationships in my life truly support my growth, and which ones do I maintain out of fear?”

Remember that personal growth is not linear.

On December 20th, I’ll host online a free masterclass to go deeper on the themes to realign your life and purpose, overcoming the fears of becoming You.

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