26. What Ghosting Really Means and How To Set Boundaries with Dr. Neeta Bhushan

Hey, Brave Table fam! Today we’re getting into a topic that has come up a lot not only in the communities I’m a part of but given the world we’re living in, is something all of us have likely done or experienced at some point: ghosting.   

I’m going to talk about why we do it, why we need to stop doing it, and how ghosting actually has to do with how you create and set boundaries in your life. Let’s get into it. 

What you’ll get out of this episode: 

- A deep dive into ghosting, how we got here, and how we can do better

- What happens when you don’t effectively communicate and steps for practicing how to have difficult conversations.

- How ghosting shows you the lessons you need to learn and how they’ll keep coming back to you if you don’t end the karmic cycles

- How to create agreements with others and containers for issues you need to discuss

- What are emotional regulation practices and a few of my favorites for you to try out

- What ghosting says about your greatest fears and how it might show you that you’re people-pleasing and burning yourself out

- Ghosting and dating: how ghosting can hold you back from finding your person

Do you realize that, only a decade ago, phone calls or face-to-face conversations were our main ways of communicating with each other? Isn’t that wild to think that now, as we’re living in a world where Zoom calls or corresponding via text and email are the norm? 

While technology has been great for helping us be more efficient, it’s also led to the phenomenon of ghosting, where we just stop replying to the people we don’t want to deal with. The worst part is—that this has become standard behavior. Whether it's in business or dating or in everyday situations you refuse to face, we’ve normalized treating our fellow humans like something we can delete, just like we do a text or email. 

But just because we’ve dipped out doesn’t mean the karmic link is over. When you don’t close the loop on the things you’ve engaged with energetically, you’re bound to keep having to face the same lesson over and over. So, why do we ghost, and how do we stop? 

I want to peel back the layers on this. As someone who has both been ghosted and guilty of doing it, too, I’ve learned that it ultimately comes down to setting your boundaries. Yup. When you don’t place boundaries with those around you and clearly state what is a YES and what is a NO, you end up burning yourself out OR inviting situations into your life that you don’t want and don’t know how to properly handle. 

This is something I had to experience for myself following my self-marriage in Bali, where I said I would say yes to every date that came my way, only to find myself getting nowhere fast because I wasn’t properly managing my energy. 

Ensuring you’re confident and competent in sharing your boundaries is something I prioritize teaching in my coaching and courses. Learning how to get a handle on your boundaries and having those tough conversations that you try to avoid provides a massive opportunity for growth. 

Are you ready to step up to the challenge and take one small step today to close the chapter on someone you’ve ghosted? I’ll help guide you on how to be brave and take the first step to get through it. 

Things I talk about in this episode and other episodes like it… 

- Listen to my episode with Alyson Charles here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/alyson-charles-awakening-your-inner-wisdom-as-the/id1608226580?i=1000552682079 

- And check Alyson’s book, Animal Power, here https://www.alysoncharles.com/animalpower 

- Dating and learning how to establish boundaries with Vasavi Kumar https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/vasavi-kumar-how-to-be-more-of-yourself/id1608226580?i=1000555690092 

- More on what it means to be brave and have difficult conversations with people https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-it-means-to-be-brave/id1608226580?i=1000551021321 

Thank you so much for being here, and see you next time!