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Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Boundaries
Feb 26, 2024
Explore the intriguing world of boundaries in relationships and mental health. Discover how setting emotional, physical, and digital limits can enhance well-being. The discussion reveals the psychological effects of inadequate boundaries and offers practical strategies for effective enforcement. Learn about the principle of differentiation and its role in fostering connection while maintaining individuality. Personal anecdotes underscore the importance of self-awareness and communication in establishing healthy boundaries for better interpersonal dynamics.
01:29:10
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Quick takeaways
- Healthy boundaries are flexible and must adapt to emotional contexts, promoting individuality while allowing for meaningful exchanges.
- Misunderstandings of boundaries often stem from societal influences that turn them into tools for control rather than mutual respect.
- Systems theory offers a comprehensive view of familial interactions, highlighting the importance of feedback loops in fostering or hindering healthy relationships.
Deep dives
Understanding Boundaries in Therapy
The podcast delves into the concept of boundaries within therapy, emphasizing that many misconceptions exist among both laypeople and some therapists. Boundaries are often positioned as a way to create barriers between individuals, but in family systems theory, they signify a complex interplay between people. Healthy boundaries are described as flexible, allowing for necessary emotional exchanges while maintaining individuality. The discussion highlights how misunderstandings about boundaries can lead to ineffective therapeutic practices and personal relationships.
Flexibility and Permeability of Boundaries
The importance of flexibility in boundaries is a key theme, illustrating that while boundaries should exist, they must also be adaptable. For example, during moments of affection with a partner, boundaries should soften to enhance connection, whereas in tense situations, a firmer boundary might be necessary to maintain emotional stability. The concept extends to various contexts, such as individual experiences and family dynamics, underscoring that an optimal boundary allows for healthy emotional exchanges. This flexibility must also be responsive to evolving circumstances in relationships.
Cultural Co-Optation of Boundaries
The conversation highlights how societal influences can distort the understanding of boundaries, turning them into tools for control rather than mutual respect. Many individuals repurpose the term to justify restrictive behaviors, such as controlling whom a partner should associate with, which contradicts the intended meaning of healthy boundaries. This co-optation dilutes the significance of boundaries and can further complicate the dynamics of personal relationships. As boundaries gain 'moral authority' in discussions about relationships, it's crucial to reflect on their true purpose versus their misuse.
Systems Theory and Relationship Dynamics
The podcast discusses the relationship between systems theory and familial interactions, particularly through the lenses of Murray Bowen and Salvador Mnuchin. It emphasizes that understanding behavior requires looking at the entire system rather than isolating individual actions or characters. The responses of family members, influenced by each other's emotions and behaviors, construct a feedback loop that can either foster or hinder healthy relationships. Effective therapeutic practices use systems theory to explore how changes within the family or couple affect dynamic interactions and emotional health.
The Evolution of Concepts and Terminology
The dialogue extends to reflect on how psychological concepts evolve and often shift out of alignment with their original intentions. Terms such as 'boundaries' and 'trigger warnings' have transitioned from clinical frameworks to more generalized social discourse, which can lead to misunderstandings. There's an acknowledgment that while these concepts can aid in articulating personal experiences, their expansion into popular culture can misinform their usage. The discussion advocates for a return to grounded definitions within clinical settings to maintain clarity in therapy and interpersonal communication.
Dr Kirk Honda lectures about systems theory, boundaries, routines, feedback, cybernetics, differentiation, etc.
From our sponsor, BetterHelp: Need a therapist? Try BetterHelp! https://www.betterhelp.com/kirkGet started today and enjoy 10% off your first month. Discount code “KIRK" will be automatically applied.
https://FactorMeals.com/Seattle50
00:00 What are boundaries & limits?
21:40 Co-opting respected terms
28:01 What was the original purpose of trigger warnings?
37:08 The rise of the self-help realm
42:30 Where did boundaries come from?
53:32 Does the concept of boundaries exist in modern therapy?
1:02:35 How does differentiation apply?
1:06:37 Does Dr. Kirk feel safe podcasting?
1:18:39 An exercise in thinking systemically
Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/join
Become a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattle
Email: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contact
Website: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com
Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/psychology-in-seattle
Cameo: https://www.cameo.com/kirkhonda
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/
Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.honda
February 26, 2024
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com
From our sponsor, BetterHelp: Need a therapist? Try BetterHelp! https://www.betterhelp.com/kirkGet started today and enjoy 10% off your first month. Discount code “KIRK" will be automatically applied.
https://FactorMeals.com/Seattle50
00:00 What are boundaries & limits?
21:40 Co-opting respected terms
28:01 What was the original purpose of trigger warnings?
37:08 The rise of the self-help realm
42:30 Where did boundaries come from?
53:32 Does the concept of boundaries exist in modern therapy?
1:02:35 How does differentiation apply?
1:06:37 Does Dr. Kirk feel safe podcasting?
1:18:39 An exercise in thinking systemically
Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/join
Become a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattle
Email: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contact
Website: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com
Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/psychology-in-seattle
Cameo: https://www.cameo.com/kirkhonda
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/
Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.honda
February 26, 2024
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com
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