Can We Train Ourselves to Worry Less About Others’ Opinions?

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Jan 26, 2025

The discussion dives into performance anxiety and how fear of judgment can cripple musicians. A fascinating study uncovers strategies for building self-esteem and reducing stress, emphasizing the power of selective attention. It also contrasts response-focused and antecedent-focused anxiety management, highlighting how a positive mindset can enhance performance. Listeners learn about the impact of perceived evaluation on their abilities and are introduced to mental skills training aimed at improving focus and enjoyment in music.

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INSIGHT

Negative Evaluation Fuels Anxiety

Fear of negative evaluation is a main driver of musicians' performance anxiety.
We often over-scan for negative judgments, which worsens anxiety and performance.

INSIGHT

Rejection Bias Hampers Focus

Our radar for approval and rejection is biased towards noticing rejection.
Simply thinking positively is ineffective because it feels like self-deception and is hard to sustain.

ADVICE

Train Mind Before Anxiety Starts

Use antecedent-focused strategies to change reactions before anxiety arises.
These proactive methods complement response-focused techniques like deep breathing.

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I came across a study years ago which found that fear of negative evaluation was one of the key drivers of performance anxiety in musicians. Which of course makes perfect sense, as we're being evaluated all the time. Often, with meaningful consequences attached.

But that doesn't mean it's helpful - or very pleasant to experience either! So is there anything we can do to be less sensitive to what others around us might be thinking about us? At least in rehearsals, auditions, performances, or even dates for that matter, when it's way more useful for us to focus on the things that we can actually control?

A 2007 study provides some clues on how we could potentially reduce our stress levels, increase self-esteem, exude more confidence in public, and even perform more effectively, by working on a particular kind of focus in our daily lives.

Get all the nerdy details and learn how to start working on this particular kind of selective attention right here:
Can We Train Ourselves to Worry Less About Others’ Opinions?

* * *
Have you been feeling a little stuck or stagnant in the practice room? Or has performance anxiety and the gap between practice and performance been a nagging issue that hasn’t changed, no matter how well you've prepared for performances, auditions - and even lessons?

If you’ve been wanting to experience more joy in the practice room and play more like yourself on stage, but haven’t been quite sure how to make that happen, starting July 22, 2025, I’ll be teaching a live, online, accelerated 2-week class on the most essential mental skills and practice strategies that can make a difference in your practicing and performing.

We’ll meet twice a week via Zoom and work on a series of exercises and techniques in four essential skill areas (effective practice, managing anxiety, focus, and confidence), together as a group. And to make sure the concepts become consistent habits, I'll show you how to gently integrate these new skills into your (or your students’) daily practice through bite-sized practice challenges alongside a supportive group of practice buddies from around the world.

Over 2000 musicians, educators, and students and learners of all ages have participated in the course to date. You can find out what alumni are saying, and sign up to join Cohort 24 at:

bulletproofmusician.com/essentials