Emily Oster on What’s Gone Wrong with Modern Parenting
Apr 12, 2025
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Emily Oster, a Professor of Economics at Brown University and founder of ParentData, shares insights on the challenges of modern parenting. She discusses how data-driven decision-making can alleviate parenting anxiety, emphasizing the importance of empirical evidence over societal norms. The conversation covers critical topics such as screen time, the impact of social media on teen mental health, and the shortcomings of public health authorities during the pandemic. Oster advocates for a balanced approach that prioritizes both child and parent well-being.
Parents should adopt a balanced view of their role, recognizing that the cumulative effect of positive interactions outweighs isolated missteps.
Engaging with empirical data allows parents to make informed choices, rather than strictly adhering to generalized health advice regarding parenting.
Socioeconomic factors significantly impact child development, necessitating a focus on foundational stability rather than minor lifestyle decisions.
Deep dives
Modern Parenting Anxiety
Contemporary parenting is often viewed through a lens of anxiety, where each decision is seen as a potential moment that could irreparably affect a child’s future. This perspective fosters an intense environment where parents feel compelled to scrutinize every action, believing that minor missteps, such as rushing a child out the door, could lead to lifelong harm. Contrary to this belief, research indicates that while the early years are indeed significant, the cumulative effect of positive parenting practices far outweighs isolated, potentially harmful choices. This reflects a need for parents to adopt a more balanced view of their role, recognizing that not every interaction is as consequential as it may seem.
Questioning Conventional Parental Guidance
The conversation challenges conventional wisdom around parenting, particularly regarding decisions like alcohol consumption during pregnancy or the necessity of breastfeeding. Emily Oster emphasizes the importance of evaluating evidence behind such recommendations, noting the variance in advice even among medical professionals. For instance, while heavy drinking during pregnancy is universally recognized as harmful, moderate drinking during later stages may not lead to detrimental outcomes as often thought. This highlights the need for parents to engage with empirical data and make informed choices that align with their circumstances rather than adhering rigidly to generalized health advice.
The Trade-offs in Parenting
Parents often grapple with the trade-offs between their own well-being and that of their children, leading to feelings of guilt over personal choices. The narrative that parents must always prioritize their children's needs can overshadow the importance of their own happiness and health, which ultimately benefits the family dynamic. Arguments are presented for parents to acknowledge that compromising personal interests occasionally can lead to a healthier overall family environment. For example, a parent might choose to engage in a personal hobby that enhances their fulfillment, which in turn can create a more positive atmosphere for their children.
Impact of Societal Factors on Parenting
The discussion shifts to the broader societal influences on parenting, emphasizing that socioeconomic status plays a critical role in determining a child’s developmental trajectory. Research suggests that stable housing and consistent positive relationships are foundational to a child’s success, and interventions that ensure these basics can have significant effects. Unfortunately, much of the discourse around parenting tends to focus on minor lifestyle decisions, distracting from the pressing social policies needed to support families in need. Acknowledging socioeconomic barriers allows parents to prioritize efforts that truly promote child welfare versus getting bogged down in moment-to-moment decisions.
The Nuance of Screen Time
Screen time is portrayed as a nuanced topic where the context of its use holds more significance than the activity itself. Instead of viewing screens as inherently harmful, it’s argued that they should be assessed based on what they replace in a child’s daily routine. For younger children, using screens for short durations in a controlled manner can actually facilitate family time without leading to long-term detriment. This reframing encourages parents to think critically about screen use in their family life and to employ it as a tool rather than a blanket ban or unregulated access.
Yascha Mounk and Emily Oster also talk about what public health authorities fell short during the pandemic.
In addition to being a Professor of Economics at Brown University, Emily Oster is the founder and CEO of ParentData, a data-driven guide to pregnancy, parenting, and beyond. Emily is also a New York Times best-selling author, whose books include Expecting Better, Cribsheet, The Family Firm and The Unexpected.
In this week’s conversation, Yascha Mounk and Emily Oster explore how parents can make data-driven decisions, if screen time for kids should be avoided completely, and school closures during COVID.
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Podcast production by Jack Shields and Leonora Barclay.
