Seeing Death Clearly Understanding Death Doula Work: Compassion, Grief, and End-of-Life Support with Tolley Casper's
In this episode of Seeing Death Clearly, Jill McClennen sits down with Tolley Casparis, a death doula from Southern California, to explore the realities of supporting people at the end of life. They discuss the emotional challenges of caregiving, the importance of community, and how conscious preparation can create healing for both the dying and their loved ones. This conversation offers insight into the compassionate, yet often misunderstood, work of death doulas.
Tolley shares what it truly means to guide someone through their final days, addressing emotions that often go unnamed, such as anger, fear, and frustration. She emphasizes the power of holding space consistently and quietly, and how these small acts can profoundly impact both the person dying and their families. The discussion also covers the accessibility of quality end-of-life care, navigating medical aid in dying, and the delicate balance between volunteer and paid work in the field.
They explore the challenges around certification, the influence of social media on death doula work, and why ongoing learning and genuine community are essential for anyone supporting the dying. This episode provides an honest, grounded look at death doula work, conscious living, and supporting others with compassion and clarity.
https://deathprofesh.com/
Insta @tolleycasparis and @yourdeathprofessional
00:00 Introduction and Purpose
00:10 Welcome to Seeing Death
00:35 Guest Introduction: Tolley Casparis
01:01 The Realities of Death Doula Work
01:12 Challenges and Certifications
01:47 Personal Background of Tali Caspar
03:19 Balancing Paid and Volunteer Work
03:21 End of Life Care Plans
03:43 Dealing with Difficult Conversations
07:44 The Concept of a Good Death
17:47 Art and Grief
21:13 Certification Debate
24:19 The Challenge of Gaining Experience as a Death Doula
26:09 Heart-Centered Qualifications and Volunteering
26:56 The Debate on Charging for Services
29:08 Certification and Training Controversies
32:57 Marketing and Personal Branding
39:59 Navigating Client Relationships and Boundaries
44:46 Building Community and Setting Industry Standards
45:28 Conclusion and Call to Action
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jill@endoflifeclarity.com
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