28. Claiming Your Space, Breaking Free from ‘Should’ Stories, and the Courage to Be You | Nicola Nation

Jul 14, 2025

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What if the very thing you think makes you qualified to lead is actually limiting your impact? And what if the version of leadership you've been trying to perfect isn't even yours to begin with?

This episode explores how authentic leadership begins with claiming your own space to be you, rather than becoming a caricature of someone else's approach. We discover why recognising your agency isn't about gaining permission from others, but about remembering the power you already possess and learning to wield it with intention.

Nicola Nation is the former CEO of the Ākina Foundation, a leader who at age seven wrote to her parish priest demanding girls be allowed to serve on the altar, with aspirations of becoming the first female pope. Her journey from that bold seven-year-old to a purpose-driven executive offers profound insights into how we can break free from the "should" and "have to" stories that constrain us. You'll discover:

How shifting from obligation to desire transforms your leadership effectiveness
Why creating space for yourself actually creates space for others to thrive
How to recognise when you're operating from over-responsibility versus empowered choice
Why being a "ruthless prioritiser" is essential for sustainable leadership
How to identify and move through the fear that keeps you playing small
Why "hell yeah, within a container" becomes your framework for big decisions
How small friction changes (like logging out of LinkedIn) can reclaim your attention
Why curiosity about others becomes a pathway to unexpected wisdom

Timestamps:

(00:00) - Introduction

(10:24) - Transforming Leadership: From Should to Want

(12:23) - Creating Space for Others and Yourself

(14:42) - The Scary Journey of Being Yourself

(26:40) - Navigating Life's Hell Years

(30:07) - Embracing Fear and Opportunity

(33:11) - The Journey to Purpose-Driven Leadership

Other references:

Derek Sivers: https://sive.rs/n
“Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: https://www.amazon.com/Things-Only-When-Slow-Down/dp/0241298199
Kaitoke Regional Park: https://www.gw.govt.nz/parks/kaitoke-regional-park/
Andrew Maffet: https://dig-deeper.captivate.fm/episode/4-the-power-of-being-unhurried-what-happens-when-you-dial-up-curiosity-and-what-leadership-is-really-about-andrew-maffett/
Simon Dowling: https://dig-deeper.captivate.fm/episode/18-why-creating-space-matters-more-than-efficiency-simon-dowling-on-intentional-leadership/