Ep. 214: Dr. Paul Kesselman — Why Healing Is Better Than Curing in Psychotherapy

My guest this week is Dr. Paul Kesselman, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Devon, Pennsylvania.

Topics we discussed included:

• The difference between healing and curing
• My own experience of illness and curing vs. healing
• A therapy scene from the Oscar-winning movie “Good Will Hunting”
• Validating pain and then pivoting to what is productive
• Show about a wrestler born with no arms (HBO?)
• Reacting to difficulties in life such as a poor night’s sleep
• How we react to our mistakes
• When therapy is over (or paused)
• Preventing therapist burnout
• Shifting as a therapist from curing to collaborating
• Asking what we can learn when we feel stuck
• Growth vs. fixed mindsets
• The value in being emptied out
• Being authentic as a therapist
• The intense feelings that are often present in the therapy room
• Non-romantic love as part of the therapy process
• The therapy-based TV show “In Treatment”

Paul Kesselman, PsyD, completed his doctoral degree in psychology at Yeshiva University. He has taught college level courses in child psychology. He has been working in private practice seeing individuals, families, and running groups since 2003.

Paul works with children as young as four years of age and sees children, pre- teens, adolescents, families, young adults, and adults. He has also conducted research studies on social anxiety at New York State Psychiatric Institute.

Paul grew up in the suburbs of Philadelphia. He and his wife have five children; he enjoys spending time with his family, listening to music, and playing baseball when he is not helping patients and families.

He has a passion for his work and enjoys the opportunity to work with issues such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, learning issues, OCD, anger issues, impulse control disorders, school avoidance and refusal, and adjustments issues.

Paul has spoken at both public and private area schools on a variety of topics including ADHD, anxiety, special needs children, and school anxiety.

Learn more about Paul and his therapy practice at his website.

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