487: Connect with Cult Father, or Don't Even Bother? | Feedback Friday
Mar 26, 2021
This discussion dives into the emotional turmoil of reconnecting with a cult father after a rebellious escape. Insights on setting boundaries and healthy communication strategies dominate the talk. Listeners also get tips for navigating career stress and its fallout on marital relationships. Discussions highlight the importance of expressing emotions constructively and exploring new opportunities for growth. Overall, it’s a blend of poignant personal stories and practical advice that resonates with anyone facing family and career challenges.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Balancing Conviction and Connection
Acknowledge that you might not be able to maintain a healthy relationship with your dad while staying true to yourself.
Temper your expectations, especially if he remains entrenched in the cult.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Setting Boundaries
Establish inner boundaries by reminding yourself that your dad's feelings are his own and don't invalidate your choices.
Develop outer boundaries by being prepared to disengage if the conversation becomes toxic.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Mediated Conversations
Consider a mediator like a therapist or respected figure to facilitate productive conversations.
This conversation will be challenging, but it's worth attempting if there's openness from your dad.
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Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs
Steven Hassan
Combatting cult mind control
Steven Hassan
In "Combatting Cult Mind Control" beschreibt Steven Hassan, ein ehemaliger Moon-Sektenmitglied, die Techniken der Gehirnwäsche und Manipulation, die von Kulten eingesetzt werden. Er entwickelt das BITE-Modell, ein Akronym für Verhalten, Information, Denken und Emotion, um die verschiedenen Aspekte der Kultkontrolle zu analysieren. Das Buch bietet praktische Strategien und Techniken für Aussteiger und Angehörige, um sich von der Kontrolle von Kulten zu befreien. Hassan's Arbeit ist ein wichtiger Beitrag zum Verständnis von Kultmanipulation und bietet wertvolle Einblicke in die psychologischen Mechanismen der Gehirnwäsche. Das Buch ist eine wichtige Ressource für diejenigen, die sich mit Kulten auseinandersetzen.
Educated
A Memoir
Tara Westover
In 'Educated,' Tara Westover recounts her journey from a childhood in rural Idaho, where she was raised by survivalist Mormon parents who opposed public education and medical care, to becoming a scholar at Harvard and Cambridge University. The book details her struggles with physical and verbal abuse, her self-education, and her eventual admission to Brigham Young University. Westover's story is a powerful exploration of resilience, the importance of education, and the complexities of family relationships. She navigates the tension between her desire for knowledge and her loyalty to her family, ultimately finding a way to reconcile her past and present selves.
You basically grew up in a cult, and following your own path as an adult was seen as an act of "rebellion" in the eyes of your dad, from whom you've been estranged ever since. He's even forbidden you from setting foot on his property until you "repent, return, and remain." Now, years have passed and it doesn't sit well with you that your relationship is so strained. Should you try to reconnect with your cult father, or is it even worth the bother? We'll try to find answers to this and more here on Feedback Friday!
And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!
After "rebelling" against the cult in which you were raised, should you try to reconnect with your estranged father, or is it even worth the bother? [Thanks to cult expert Steven Hassan for helping us with this one!]
You fell behind on paperwork your job legally requires, and even though you provided it to the inspectors before the pandemic lockdowns began, you've yet to hear back from them. Now your wife says if it causes you to lose your job, she'll never forgive you. Is she overreacting? How do you handle this?
You've got a new, cushy job that pays handsomely, but you're unfulfilled because it's not the work you signed up for. Quitting now means you'd have to pay off thousands in sign-on bonuses, but you feel like you're doing your career a disservice by sticking with it. Should you just shut up and be grateful, or cut your losses and find something that better suits you?
Over the past year, you’ve become obsessed with learning. You read books, consume newsletters, and listen to hours of podcasts every day. The bad news: you can't seem to retain any of it. Are you just overloading your brain circuitry, or is there a trick to getting all this new info to stick?
Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
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