EP 139: Man UNcivilized with Traver Boehm

In this powerful and insightful episode, Traver Boehm and Lisa Hillyer dive deep into the critical issues of pain, addiction, and societal expectations facing both men and women. Traver shares his personal experiences and observations on the epidemic levels of opiate use in America, the underlying pain driving substance abuse, and the societal pressures that contribute to mental health crises, especially among men. They discuss the importance of creating spaces where men can express vulnerability, the cultural divide between genders, and the urgent need for compassion and understanding to bridge these gaps.

• Opiate Epidemic: Traver recalls a talk he gave in 2011, highlighting America's excessive consumption of opiates compared to the rest of the world. He emphasizes the correlation between high painkiller use and the underlying pain in society.
• Substance Abuse as Pain Management: The conversation explores how alcohol and drugs are often used as coping mechanisms for pain, social anxiety, and the pressure to conform to societal norms.
• Men's Workshops: Traver discusses the significance of men's workshops where participants are encouraged to express their emotions and experiences freely, fostering a supportive environment that contrasts sharply with societal expectations of stoicism.
• Gender Differences in Handling Pain: Lisa and Traver talk about how men and women are conditioned differently in dealing with pain and trauma. Women are generally more accepted in seeking therapy and expressing emotions, whereas men face stigma and pressure to "man up."
• Societal Expectations and Toxic Masculinity: The episode delves into the harmful effects of toxic masculinity and the misconception that men must be unemotional and tough. Traver argues for a redefinition of masculinity that allows for emotional expression and healing.
• Communal Healing: Both speakers highlight the necessity of communal support systems where individuals can fall apart and be supported, emphasizing the power of shared healing experiences.
• Impact of Trauma: Traver shares heart-wrenching stories from his workshops, illustrating the deep-seated trauma many men carry and the urgent need for compassionate understanding and support.
• Global Perspectives on Masculinity: Lisa contrasts Western societal norms with observations from her travels in India, where men openly express affection and seem to experience higher levels of happiness despite having less material wealth.
• Cultural Divide and Healing: The episode concludes with a discussion on the need for men and women to understand and support each other better, breaking down societal barriers and working towards communal healing.

Traver Boehm is the author of the books “Today I Rise” and “Man UNcivilized”. He’s a two-time TEDx speaker, men’s coach, and the founder of the UNcivilized Men’s Movement. He’s helped men all over the world to become UNcivilized as they wake up to the power of their hearts, the brilliance of their bodies, and the wisdom of their souls so they can blaze their own path by uniquely blending both the primal and the divine within them.

He is dedicated to doing his part to help end the suffering in men, and the suffering caused by men, by guiding them through their own journey into an actualized version of masculinity.

https://www.instagram.com/traverboehm/

Email Lisa about The Wise Woman's Retreat - lisahillyer@heartsoulhealthwellness.com

Leave a tip - lisamhillyer@gmail.com

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