Couples who sustain a strong sexual connection prioritize sex and view it as essential for their relationship, understanding that it strengthens their bond, brings vulnerability, authenticity, and pleasure.
As individuals age, open communication, body acceptance, and finding pleasure in new forms of intimacy can help maintain a fulfilling sexual life by navigating physical changes and embracing freedom from societal expectations.
Deep dives
The Importance of Prioritizing Sex in Long-Term Relationships
Couples who sustain a strong sexual connection prioritize sex and view it as essential for their relationship. They understand that sex strengthens their bond, brings vulnerability, authenticity, and pleasure. It is crucial for partners to discuss what kind of sex is worth wanting and ensure it is pleasurable for both. Rejecting societal scripts and prioritizing pleasure over frequency are key factors for a satisfying sexual relationship.
Aging and Changes in Sexual Desire
As individuals age, their bodies naturally change, including shifts in hormone levels and physical sensations. However, responses to aging vary, with some seeing it as a freedom from societal expectations and others needing to navigate physical changes. Open communication, body acceptance, and finding pleasure in new forms of intimacy can help individuals maintain a fulfilling sexual life as they grow older.
Challenging Cisheteronormative Scripts
Releasing ourselves from the rigid norms and expectations surrounding sex and gender is essential for finding joy and pleasure in long-term relationships. Couples can redefine what sex means to them, focusing on connection, pleasure, and exploration beyond cisgender heterosexual norms. This opens up possibilities for diverse expressions of intimacy and mutual satisfaction.
Importance of Masturbation and Solo Pleasure
In cases where desire differentials exist, prioritizing solo pleasure through masturbation can be beneficial. It allows individuals to explore and discover their own pleasure, irrespective of their partner's interest. Solo pleasure is an opportunity for self-exploration, embracing pleasure, and gaining confidence in one's own body.
A listener in his eighties wants to know if there’s an expiration date on his sex life, and how to reconnect in the bedroom with his wife. Luckily, Emily is writing a new book about sex in long-term relationships. She delves deep into what the research reveals about couples who sustain a strong sexual connection over many years. Plus, she shares practical, science-backed sex advice on aging and navigating your changing body.
If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557 or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.