Dr. Mogel discusses the consequences of being strict or permissive as a parent. The speakers explore cultural differences and the importance of ancestral stories. Teaching appreciation, responsibility, and sibling dynamics are explored. Navigating dual identity in an Indian-American household is discussed. The importance of spending quality time and teaching practical skills is emphasized. The speakers share their perspectives on parenting and the importance of teaching responsibility and accountability.
The importance of passing on ancestral memories, family stories, and the sacrifices of grandparents to children.
Balancing academic achievement with valuing effort and developing a balanced perspective on success and failure.
Fostering independence, kindness, and practical skills in children while finding a balance between cultural traditions and individual freedoms.
Deep dives
Cultural Differences and Family Legacy
Rutu and Avikar discuss the cultural differences they experienced growing up as Indian-Americans and the importance of passing on their family's history and legacy to their children. They highlight the value of ancestral memories and family stories, emphasizing the need for their kids to know where they came from and the sacrifices their grandparents made. They also stress the significance of education in their family and the expectation for their children to pursue higher education while still appreciating the efforts they put into their schoolwork.
Encouraging Responsibility and Dealing with Perfectionism
The couple reflects on their 11-year-old daughter's perfectionist tendencies and fear of failure. While they acknowledge her academic achievements, they also recognize the importance of valuing effort and not solely focusing on grades. They emphasize the need to help her develop a balanced perspective on success and failure, highlighting the importance of acknowledging effort and not putting excessive pressure on achieving perfect grades. They want their daughter to understand that making mistakes is a part of life and should not be overly critical of herself.
Building Independence, Kindness, and Practical Skills
Rutu, Avikar, and the host discuss the importance of fostering independence, kindness, and practical skills in their children. This includes allowing their children to make mistakes and learn from them, as well as encouraging their 6-year-old son's interest in building and using tools. Avikar shares his desire to teach his son practical skills like changing a tire or unclogging a toilet, emphasizing the importance of providing him with the confidence and ability to handle everyday challenges. The couple also discusses the significance of developing kindness, communication, curiosity, and courage in their children.
Navigating Traditional Upbringing in America
The podcast episode discusses the challenges of growing up in a traditional immigrant household in America, specifically focusing on Indian cultural traditions. The speaker shares personal experiences of feeling oppressed by strict rules and limitations imposed by their parents, such as not being allowed to date or attend dances. They highlight the importance of finding a balance between preserving cultural heritage and allowing for individual freedoms, especially in a diverse and vibrant society like America. The speaker emphasizes the need for open communication, understanding, and respecting boundaries to avoid complete rebellion.
Parenting in the Age of Social Media
The episode also explores the challenges of parenting in the digital age, particularly the impact of social media on children's lives. The speaker expresses concerns about the potential negative influence of friends and the exposure to a virtual world that may lead children astray. They discuss the delicate balance of allowing children to navigate social media while ensuring their safety and well-being. The importance of monitoring and being involved in their children's online activities is emphasized, along with the need to teach responsible use of technology. Lastly, the speaker suggests fostering an environment of mutual respect and responsibility within the family, promoting open communication and allowing children to make decisions while providing guidance and setting appropriate boundaries.
Dr. Mogel answers the question: Will my children hate me if I’m strict? Will they hate me if I’m not? She also teaches us new words: etterpåklokskap & mamihlapinatapei
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