The Tai Lopez Show Letting The Monkey Out Of The Cage: Learned Helplessness
Jun 17, 2014
01:18:53
Allan Nation, one of my first mentors says, "One thing I have learned is that most people only take advice that agrees with what they have already decided to do."And that in a nutshell is the root of half of all our life's regrets.So let's continue yesterday's conversation about how to avoid making big mistakes.In today's book-of-the-day,"Influence", Cialdini talks about the certainty bias. Cialdini says, "There is no question about it. The drive to be (and look) consistent constitutes a highly potent weapon of social influence, often causing us to act in ways that are clearly contrary to our own best interests.”>>Click here to read yesterday's article to catch upHe is talking about our tendency to not change our mind.Mental "inertia..."
Confusing Me With Facts...
Like the saying goes, "Don't bother me with the facts, I've already made up my mind."Yesterday you read about how to make war with a multitude of counselors and assemble your cabinet of advisors.That is the start. The next issue is this 'bug' in our brain that Cialdini's research discovered. We make mistakes because we want security.We want certainty.We don't want to experiment and flexible and patient and wait until the right path appears over time.Like a little kid throwing tantrums we want answers now.The good news is that can all stop today. Big regrets can be a thing of the past.Your new life can be full of health, wealth, love and happiness.
Mad Scientist...
Here are the other 2 tricks to cutting your mistakes and finding the good life:#2. Bring out your inner mad scientistHumans are creatures of extremes.I don't know where this comes from. My guess is maybe from religion. People are either too afraid to make mistakes.Or so certain of themselves that they never try anything new.Or they have no backbone and bounce around in life hoping that their life will magically improve.Both of those extremes are the way to lose big time.The better path, I call "bringing out your inner mad scientist."Here is what I mean.A good scientist like Thomas Edison did a ton of little experiments that failed.Edison says, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."Remember this is coming from a man who held 1093 patents!Edison invented the light bulb, the movie camera, sound recording equipment, basically all the things that allow us to be able to watch TV, movies, and listen to music.(You can hear Edison talking and creating the first recording ever made by humans at this link.)Edison used to say, "I make more mistakes than anyone else I know, and sooner or later, I patent most of them."He was laughing all the way to the bank. His little experimental mistakes made him one of the most famous and respected people in the world.And one of the wealthiest. He started GE - General Electric Co. GE is the only company listed in the Dow Jones Industrial Index today that was also included in the original index in 1896. GE went on to be the biggest company in the late 1990's. At Edison's death in 1931 he left a $12 million estate, big enough to have put him on The FORBES 400 list, had it then existed.He was basically a billionaire from this mindset of being a mad scientist and making a ton of little mistakes.Now you might be thinking, "Tai, I thought you said the secret is not making mistakes."Well yes and no - the devil is in the details.Edison wasn't one extreme or another. He was not afraid to have little experimental failures.But he also wasn't so stubborn that he kept trying one experiment longer than it needed to go.He tested quickly, go the results, then moved on to the next iteration.This should be the new pattern for your life.Copy Thomas Edison's pattern.
Fail Fast...
Like they say in Silicon Valley, "Fail Fast."As I said yesterday, you want to avoid BIG mistakes by filling up your brain with the thoughts of the wisest people in the world. Using their experience to be your board of advisors.But then you will have to go out and take action.Since you can't copy your mentors exactly you will inevitably make many little mistakes.Little mistakes are fine. In fact they are helpful.They key is that you have to "Read the obvious signs" and move on quickly once it's apparent that what you are doing is not working.In my inner circle private training program on financial freedom and building a million dollar business I teach the 7 step process.
Inner Circle Program
========================By the way, if you are interested in being in my private inner circle program, I am opening up a few spots as some people are graduating.If you want to find the good life and take your financial life from scarcity to financial independence, prosperity, and wealth, send an email to tai@tailopez.com and I will send you over some details.===========================So let me lay out the 7 step process:1. Ask a Question - what are you trying to fix in your life?2. Do Background Research - what have other smart people done to fix it (your cabinet)...3. Construct a Hypothesis - what experiment are you going to try?4. Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment - put the test into action.5. Analyze Your Data and Draw a Conclusion - Read the obvious signs...6. Communicate Your Results To Other Smart People - bounce your conclusion off a 'multitude of counselors."7. Adjust Based On What You Learned & Start Over - tweak your hypothesis and start back on step 3.Everyone is good at #3.All my poor friends have a million opinions on everything.They are happy to babble away about the answers to politics, religion, and the hard questions of life.What is rare is a mindset that doesn't jump to conclusions.Because for most people, #7 - making the adjustments and starting over - is the hardest.Most people just test once and then never make adjustments again.If you have been guilty of that, I know I have, then cut that mindset out of your life today.It will make all the difference.Like I said in my TED talk. Everyone wants to be a millionaire, but not everybody wants to do the things it takes to become one. It starts in the mind.
The Gambler...
You have to know how to set up your life to be a series of little experiments and mistakes to avoid the big nightmare mistakes.Like Kenny Rogers sings in the Gambler: "Son, I've made a life Out of readin' people's facesKnowin' what the cards wereBy the way they held their eyesSo if you don't mind me sayin'I can see you're out of acesFor a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some adviceHe said, 'If you're gonna play the game, boyYou gotta learn to play it rightYou've got to know when to hold 'emKnow when to fold 'emKnow when to walk awayAnd know when to run'."A wise song.It's a little like dating.One of my buddies never goes out on dates but then always complains about feeling lonely.My other buddy is the opposite. He jumps into a relationship with the first girl he meets.But instead of either of those 2 extremes, my smartest friend goes on a handful of first dates kind of like a mad scientist.He goes through the 7 steps.He asks himself what kind of girl he wants to date. When he first is introduced to a girl he does a little research before agreeing to go out.Then he gives it a shot. And he observes the date.He maybe goes out one or two times to confirm his initial conclusion.He asks a few wise people about what he observed. And if it's not a match he makes the adjustment and starts over dating someone else until he finds the right match.This is the pattern of success not just in love and dating, but also the best way for dieting, exercising, building a million dollar business, or finding happiness.Test fast, fail fast, move on fast. Until you are sure you are on the right path never get stuck on one thing so long that it goes from a minor experimental failure to a massive life mistake.Think about every big mistake you have ever made.Maybe a failed marriage, friendship, or a failed business.I bet you either jumped into it too fast without testing it. Or you just got stuck in something by ignoring the initial obvious red flags. You just were hoping and praying that some magical power would reach down and fix everything. Today that all stops. All you have to do is become a mad scientist who embraces a little temporary uncertainty until the clear answers appear.Be patient. This method works.
Try, Try Again...
Try being a Vegan. Try being a liberal. Try being a conservative.Try being a Buddhist.Try being an Atheist.Try the Paleo diet.Try a different way to advertise your business.Or maybe it's time to try a new career. Try investing in real estate.Experiment your way to the top.Don't get attached the conclusion.Cope with a little uncertainty until the answer is clear.As Gary Keller says, "Embrace the chaos."It works. You will see.Now about the last tip:#3. The answers are not within.This is one of my most controversial topics.In conclusion, remember that if you can use these 3 tips and eliminate the major mistakes from your life you will literally save decades of time and end up with an extra million dollars or more in your pocket.Don't get paralyzed by the fear of failure.But don't get stuck too long and turn a little failed experiment into a massive mistake.Make your life one big experiment.Go do it and fill me in on how it works!Also, I just recorded a new show episode that deals with all the in-depth aspects of how to make war with a multitude of counselors and stop making painful mistakes.
Also be sure to send an email to tai@tailopez.com if you want to learn more about my "Inner Circle" private program.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Confusing Me With Facts...
Like the saying goes, "Don't bother me with the facts, I've already made up my mind."Yesterday you read about how to make war with a multitude of counselors and assemble your cabinet of advisors.That is the start. The next issue is this 'bug' in our brain that Cialdini's research discovered. We make mistakes because we want security.We want certainty.We don't want to experiment and flexible and patient and wait until the right path appears over time.Like a little kid throwing tantrums we want answers now.The good news is that can all stop today. Big regrets can be a thing of the past.Your new life can be full of health, wealth, love and happiness.
Mad Scientist...
Here are the other 2 tricks to cutting your mistakes and finding the good life:#2. Bring out your inner mad scientistHumans are creatures of extremes.I don't know where this comes from. My guess is maybe from religion. People are either too afraid to make mistakes.Or so certain of themselves that they never try anything new.Or they have no backbone and bounce around in life hoping that their life will magically improve.Both of those extremes are the way to lose big time.The better path, I call "bringing out your inner mad scientist."Here is what I mean.A good scientist like Thomas Edison did a ton of little experiments that failed.Edison says, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."Remember this is coming from a man who held 1093 patents!Edison invented the light bulb, the movie camera, sound recording equipment, basically all the things that allow us to be able to watch TV, movies, and listen to music.(You can hear Edison talking and creating the first recording ever made by humans at this link.)Edison used to say, "I make more mistakes than anyone else I know, and sooner or later, I patent most of them."He was laughing all the way to the bank. His little experimental mistakes made him one of the most famous and respected people in the world.And one of the wealthiest. He started GE - General Electric Co. GE is the only company listed in the Dow Jones Industrial Index today that was also included in the original index in 1896. GE went on to be the biggest company in the late 1990's. At Edison's death in 1931 he left a $12 million estate, big enough to have put him on The FORBES 400 list, had it then existed.He was basically a billionaire from this mindset of being a mad scientist and making a ton of little mistakes.Now you might be thinking, "Tai, I thought you said the secret is not making mistakes."Well yes and no - the devil is in the details.Edison wasn't one extreme or another. He was not afraid to have little experimental failures.But he also wasn't so stubborn that he kept trying one experiment longer than it needed to go.He tested quickly, go the results, then moved on to the next iteration.This should be the new pattern for your life.Copy Thomas Edison's pattern.
Fail Fast...
Like they say in Silicon Valley, "Fail Fast."As I said yesterday, you want to avoid BIG mistakes by filling up your brain with the thoughts of the wisest people in the world. Using their experience to be your board of advisors.But then you will have to go out and take action.Since you can't copy your mentors exactly you will inevitably make many little mistakes.Little mistakes are fine. In fact they are helpful.They key is that you have to "Read the obvious signs" and move on quickly once it's apparent that what you are doing is not working.In my inner circle private training program on financial freedom and building a million dollar business I teach the 7 step process.
Inner Circle Program
========================By the way, if you are interested in being in my private inner circle program, I am opening up a few spots as some people are graduating.If you want to find the good life and take your financial life from scarcity to financial independence, prosperity, and wealth, send an email to tai@tailopez.com and I will send you over some details.===========================So let me lay out the 7 step process:1. Ask a Question - what are you trying to fix in your life?2. Do Background Research - what have other smart people done to fix it (your cabinet)...3. Construct a Hypothesis - what experiment are you going to try?4. Test Your Hypothesis by Doing an Experiment - put the test into action.5. Analyze Your Data and Draw a Conclusion - Read the obvious signs...6. Communicate Your Results To Other Smart People - bounce your conclusion off a 'multitude of counselors."7. Adjust Based On What You Learned & Start Over - tweak your hypothesis and start back on step 3.Everyone is good at #3.All my poor friends have a million opinions on everything.They are happy to babble away about the answers to politics, religion, and the hard questions of life.What is rare is a mindset that doesn't jump to conclusions.Because for most people, #7 - making the adjustments and starting over - is the hardest.Most people just test once and then never make adjustments again.If you have been guilty of that, I know I have, then cut that mindset out of your life today.It will make all the difference.Like I said in my TED talk. Everyone wants to be a millionaire, but not everybody wants to do the things it takes to become one. It starts in the mind.
The Gambler...
You have to know how to set up your life to be a series of little experiments and mistakes to avoid the big nightmare mistakes.Like Kenny Rogers sings in the Gambler: "Son, I've made a life Out of readin' people's facesKnowin' what the cards wereBy the way they held their eyesSo if you don't mind me sayin'I can see you're out of acesFor a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some adviceHe said, 'If you're gonna play the game, boyYou gotta learn to play it rightYou've got to know when to hold 'emKnow when to fold 'emKnow when to walk awayAnd know when to run'."A wise song.It's a little like dating.One of my buddies never goes out on dates but then always complains about feeling lonely.My other buddy is the opposite. He jumps into a relationship with the first girl he meets.But instead of either of those 2 extremes, my smartest friend goes on a handful of first dates kind of like a mad scientist.He goes through the 7 steps.He asks himself what kind of girl he wants to date. When he first is introduced to a girl he does a little research before agreeing to go out.Then he gives it a shot. And he observes the date.He maybe goes out one or two times to confirm his initial conclusion.He asks a few wise people about what he observed. And if it's not a match he makes the adjustment and starts over dating someone else until he finds the right match.This is the pattern of success not just in love and dating, but also the best way for dieting, exercising, building a million dollar business, or finding happiness.Test fast, fail fast, move on fast. Until you are sure you are on the right path never get stuck on one thing so long that it goes from a minor experimental failure to a massive life mistake.Think about every big mistake you have ever made.Maybe a failed marriage, friendship, or a failed business.I bet you either jumped into it too fast without testing it. Or you just got stuck in something by ignoring the initial obvious red flags. You just were hoping and praying that some magical power would reach down and fix everything. Today that all stops. All you have to do is become a mad scientist who embraces a little temporary uncertainty until the clear answers appear.Be patient. This method works.
Try, Try Again...
Try being a Vegan. Try being a liberal. Try being a conservative.Try being a Buddhist.Try being an Atheist.Try the Paleo diet.Try a different way to advertise your business.Or maybe it's time to try a new career. Try investing in real estate.Experiment your way to the top.Don't get attached the conclusion.Cope with a little uncertainty until the answer is clear.As Gary Keller says, "Embrace the chaos."It works. You will see.Now about the last tip:#3. The answers are not within.This is one of my most controversial topics.In conclusion, remember that if you can use these 3 tips and eliminate the major mistakes from your life you will literally save decades of time and end up with an extra million dollars or more in your pocket.Don't get paralyzed by the fear of failure.But don't get stuck too long and turn a little failed experiment into a massive mistake.Make your life one big experiment.Go do it and fill me in on how it works!Also, I just recorded a new show episode that deals with all the in-depth aspects of how to make war with a multitude of counselors and stop making painful mistakes.
Also be sure to send an email to tai@tailopez.com if you want to learn more about my "Inner Circle" private program.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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