The Carey Nieuwhof Leadership Podcast CNLP 771 | Is Your Marriage Difficult or Destructive? When God Releases You From Marriage with Lysa TerKeurst
33 snips
Dec 4, 2025 
Lysa TerKeurst, President of Proverbs 31 Ministries and bestselling author, shares her personal journey through an unwanted divorce. She discusses the critical distinction between difficult and destructive marriages, emphasizing when professional help is necessary. Lysa dives into biblical grounds for divorce and challenges the misuse of scripture to induce shame. She reflects on self-care in toxic relationships, the emotional toll of abuse, and the importance of supportive friendships, offering hope and encouragement for healing.
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Malachi Reframed: Context Matters
- Malachi 2.16 is better read as condemning a husband who hates and divorces his wife rather than the simple phrase 'God hates divorce'.
- Understanding the original language reframes divorce verses away from weaponizing scripture and toward protecting the vulnerable.
Difficult vs Destructive Marriages
- A difficult marriage involves two humble, repentant people willing to work on problems together.
- A destructive marriage features repeated harmful patterns by one spouse that damage the other's physical, emotional, or relational health.
Work On Yourself And Set Boundaries
- Do focus your energy on working on yourself when your spouse refuses to change instead of trying to change them.
- Do establish clear healthy boundaries and communicate consequences to protect yourself and your children.
