Next Up: Narcissism Episode 13: High Conflict Personalities and Divorce with Rebecca Zung
“They actually thrive and enjoy being in this drama, trauma, and chaos, getting people stirred up,” says Rebecca Zung, describing high conflict personalities. In this episode, Dr. Z talks with Rebecca, a top-ranked trial lawyer, high conflict negotiator, and international bestselling author of “Slay the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win.”
Rebecca explains that while those with high conflict personalities will often demonstrate narcissistic traits, this does not necessarily mean they have a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Dr. Z emphasizes the importance of understanding the function of someone’s behavior, or the underlying “why” behind it. This helps when formulating responses and implementing boundaries with a high conflict individual.
The episode covers Rebecca’s S.L.A.Y. (Strategy, Leverage, Anticipate, and You) method for negotiating with high conflict personalities, offering practical advice for those facing high conflict divorce or custody battles. Rebecca details each component of her SLAY method, highlighting the need to create a vision, build leverage within the dynamic, anticipate their next moves, and maintain a strong, self-focused mindset.
Packed with insights and how-to strategies, this episode of Next Up: Narcissism is a valuable resource for anyone dealing with high conflict personalities and narcissistic abuse.
Quotes
- “A high conflict personality literally thrives on constantly stirring the pot in every area they can, all the time, no matter where they go. It’s almost like Pigpen in Charlie Brown, who always had that cloud around him. That’s how it is with a high conflict personality. Wherever they go, there’s always something brewing.” (05:21 | Rebecca Zung)
- “People with high conflict personalities, narcissistic personalities, or even just extreme narcissistic traits, they're not going to therapy and getting diagnosed. And if they do, it’s either court mandated, or they go once then they don’t come back again. They go to a million different therapists until they find one that’s going to buy into their bullshit. And that's what happens… And I think also, with social media, certain people don’t get away with certain things anymore. And people have more knowledge about it. So we’re hearing about it more. Are people misdiagnosed by society? Yeah, they are… Narcissism is a very distinct thing.” (10:52 | Dr. Z)
- “My S.L.A.Y. method is the blueprint. I call it a blueprint as well. It’s basically a roadmap to get exactly where you want to go, to win your negotiations, to win in court, to win in communication, whatever it is that you want to do. It’s a four-step playbook to help you visualize where you want to go and then just create the plan.” (20:44 | Rebecca Zung)
Links
Connect with Rebecca Zung:
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=2303615&u=4279579&m=139677&urllink=&afftrack=
Slay Your Negotiation with a Narcissist:
https://shareasale.com/r.cfm?b=2319861&u=4279579&m=139677&urllink=&afftrack=
SLAY the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win:
For the FREE Crush My Negotiation Prep Playbook:
Connect with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman:
https://www.drjaimezuckerman.com/
https://www.zgrouptherapy.com/
https://www.instagram.com/dr.z_psychologist/
https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.z_psychologist