Supporting a Partner with Depression or Bipolar Disorder: How to Support Without Losing Yourself

When someone you love is diagnosed with a mental illness, it changes both of your lives. In this deeply honest and loving episode, Becca and Joe Lombardo invite us inside their 22-year marriage—one shaped by bipolar disorder, depression, suicide attempts, and a level of compassion and communication that could teach us all something.

Together, they share how they moved from confusion and stigma to trust, understanding, and a shared language for navigating tough days. Whether you’re supporting someone with a diagnosis or you are the one living with it, this episode reminds us that relationships rooted in mutual care can survive—and even thrive—despite mental health challenges.

Link to Rebecca's site: www.rebeccaalombardo.com

Primary Topics Covered

• What it’s like to love someone with bipolar disorder
• The early confusion and stigma in their relationship
• How communication became their shared survival tool
• Understanding the difference between support and fixing
• Creating emotional boundaries as a supportive partner
• How a suicide attempt and hospitalization changed their lives
• Tips for partners: what to say, what not to say
• The importance of mutual respect in mental health caregiving
• Why both people need support—not just the one diagnosed
• Building emotional shorthand and showing up with empathy

Timestamps:

00:00 Intro and episode setup
01:45 Revisiting a past episode with Becca and Joe Lombardo
02:40 The early days: fear, ignorance, and reconnecting
03:46 Joe on loving the person, not just the diagnosis
05:15 Becca’s suicide attempt and forced hospitalization
06:43 The trauma of separation and lack of control
08:11 Communicating struggles without blame
09:16 Why trying to “fix it” doesn’t work
10:07 Joe’s go-to question: “What can I do or say right now?”
11:33 Mutual respect, repair, and recognizing limits
12:29 Boundaries and healthy communication at work
13:08 Becca’s advice to partners: stay open and listen
14:34 Their work on social media and #KeepTalkingMH
15:48 Dr. Sanz on index cards, shorthand communication
17:02 The value of presence—even on low-functioning days
18:32 Reminder: relationships require support on both sides

Explore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.com
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