Still Becoming One Do Your Own Work: Why Personal Healing Transforms Your Marriage
Dec 10, 2025
Licensed marriage counselors Brad and Kate explore how personal healing can revolutionize marriages. They challenge common church messages and emphasize the importance of doing individual story work. Their insights reveal how early experiences shape relationship patterns and why addressing these components is critical for growth. They also highlight the complementary roles of prayer and therapy, while cautioning against seeking validation alone in therapy. Personal transformation can create a ripple effect in marriage, fostering healthier communication and intimacy.
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Training Prompted Personal Processing
- Brad and Kate described attending an intensive narrative-focused trauma training as emotionally tiring and formative.
- They said the program combines information download with deep personal processing over several days.
Recurring Fights Reflect Old Wounds
- Repeated marital fights are often the same pattern driven by old wounds rather than new issues.
- Brad Aldridge says digging into personal stories reveals the dynamics causing recurring conflicts.
Model Your Work Before Inviting Others
- Share what therapy taught you about yourself before suggesting it to your spouse.
- Kate Aldridge advises focusing on personal change stories rather than declaring your spouse improved.