Shameless Sex

#466 Fantasies, Oral, and More: Sex Tips Galore with Dr. Aly

Dec 30, 2025
Guest
Alison Ash
This week features Dr. Allison Ash, a trauma-informed intimacy coach and Stanford lecturer, known for her innovative workshops on sexual education. She dives into the world of fantasies, discussing how they differ from actual desires and exploring their mental liberation. Dr. Ash also shares practical tips for effective oral sex techniques, anatomy insights, and the importance of communication in intimacy. Plus, she offers advice on navigating jealousy in non-monogamous relationships, encouraging open dialogues about desires and boundaries.
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ADVICE

Handle Jealousy With Communication And Movement

  • When jealousy arises in non-monogamy, talk to your partner lovingly and share what you felt.
  • Move the energy by journaling, calling a friend, exercising, or pausing non-monogamy if you're depleted.
INSIGHT

Fantasies Offer Permission Without Consequence

  • Fantasies are a mental space to explore desires with permission and without harming anyone.
  • You can have fantasies you'll never act on or share, and that is completely valid.
INSIGHT

Fantasies Can Reclaim Power Over Past Hurt

  • Many fantasies reconstruct past challenges to regain control and heal old wounds.
  • BDSM or forced-pleasure fantasies can let someone reenvision trauma in a controlled, stoppable way.
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