The Time I Found Out My Boyfriend Had a Wife and Three Kids

Episode 306: Relationships are complicated even when the partners are open and honest with each other - let alone if there is emotional abuse, manipulation, and secrets - like finding out your boyfriend had a wife and three kids.

This episode is an intimate and revealing conversation Madelyn had on Julie Day's podcast, I Woke Up Like This. Together they explore Madelyn's experience of discovering a former boyfriend had a wife and kids - while they were dating. Come for the dramatic story - leave with the insights on love, trust, communication, and the transformative power of trauma.

Show notes:

• Interview on I Woke Up Like This Podcast - Julie Day - thejulieday.com/i-woke-up-like-this.html
• The first Sisu Society call has happened - a big success! - maddymoon.com/sisu-society
• The Prerequisites to Ecstasy - amazon.com/Prerequisites-Ecstasy-No-Nonsense-Really-Create
• At the time this happened, Maddy wasn't questioning and second guessing quite as much.
• Was completely in masculine side, but disembodied, dissociated from feelings.
• Everything was a "checklist."
• Maddy and this person met on a dating app.
• Relationship was turbulent from the start.
• Coping with manipulative gaslighting behaviors with self-doubt and needs avoidance.
• Found out about wife and kids accidentally via Facebook.
• "If you had not found out the truth, you would have had the relationship you wanted."
• Marriage - wanting to feel safe and have needs met.
• Marriage is commoditized, particularly in America.
• "This is something for me to learn how to love."
• All knowledge of attachment styles was born in this relationship
• Book: "Attached" - https://amzn.to/2oyre0R
• When you break a bone, you can go to the doctor, but there aren't necessarily such tools easily apparent in traumatic breakups.
• We only learn to navigate attachment trauma with tenderness towards ourselves with experience.
• Any future similar situation can now be informed by this.
• Goal for all human beings, especially women, is this idea and lifestyle of sovereignty.
• When we say yes to love, we also say yes to heartbreak.
• From victimhood to empowerment.
• If you're always a victim every time darkness happens, you're not going to be able to get to that place of new life.
• The relationship wasn't love; it was addiction.
• The experience helped Maddy discover key components of her core self.
• Every single feeling is sacred. Every single emotion is a teacher.
• Be unconditionally friendly to even the parts of yourself that are uncomfortable.

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