Gay Men Going Deeper Why Do I Keep Attracting Unavailable Men?
10 snips
Aug 7, 2025 Lonay Halloum, a queer relationship coach and rapid transformational therapy practitioner, joins Matt to delve into the compelling reasons behind attracting unavailable partners. They candidly share personal experiences and discuss the role of attachment styles in relationship patterns. The conversation highlights the impact of childhood experiences on emotional availability and self-worth. Lonay offers insights into healing self-abandonment wounds and emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and kindness in breaking the cycle to find fulfilling relationships.
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Chasing Availability
- Lonay Halloum chased unavailable men believing she could make them available.
- She later traced that pattern to childhood abandonment and internalized shame.
Attachment Matches: Anxious Meets Avoidant
- Matt Landsiedel explains anxious people commonly attract dismissive-avoidant partners.
- He cites research showing a high prevalence of avoidant attachment among gay men.
Delayed Emotional Development
- Lonay Halloum says many gay men develop emotionally about a decade behind peers.
- That developmental lag makes dating harder and fuels immature relational patterns.
